Amanda Kinzer | + Follow Poet |
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Extinguish

Tell me every lie you’ve ever told, don’t hold back for my sake, let out all of the pain within, explode
Don’t make me out to be someone that I am not, I am not an angel wearing a halo here praying that I don’t get caught
The air that you seep into your lungs isn’t it the same air as mine? We’re one and the same and the both of us are liars
Believing that we can extinguish the guilt, the shame, our pasts, knowing that in the end it is nothing but a daunting task

So, tell me goodbye, just rip my memory from your head, you have already doused my dreams with gasoline so why not smother my cries instead
Choke on my love for you, let it get thrust down your spineless throat, remind me again how much it is that you love me and plunge the knife deeper with your cruel joke
I leave you with the blackened remains, the dreams I once envisioned in my head, for they are just as I now better off without you and dead
You patronize my head and heart with words spewed like poison, claiming that you don’t deserve me this was spoken before all you had done

And that smile that I thought I had seen from your raised lips, tell me was that just a vision that I made up or did it truly exist?
You chose the darkness, you did, not me, I can’t watch you suffer and drown in your shame, I just don’t have it in me
I recall the notes you once wrote to me, sonnets of love so true, and I often wonder to myself was that person really you?
I read them sometimes just to feel that you’re right here next to me, and then the chill settles in and I know you can’t feel me

You gave up, you let hate overtake your soul, and the guilt, the darkness, has drug you down, to where? Only you know
So, don’t cry for me because I will no longer cry for you, I am done playing the martyr there is nothing left of me and you
You couldn’t understand love if you could have you would have stayed, but someone with a soul like yours they never find their way
I wish so much to hurt you in unfathomable ways just so that you can hurt as much as me, but I don’t carry the hatred that you do inside, I just don’t have the will in me

I know you’re not perfect and that is not what I was asking for, I was only looking to love you, I wasn’t the devil knocking at your door
Maybe if I had been, maybe you would have let me in, it seems that the darkness is all that you know and it is your only friend
My hope it’s gone, there is no shred, nothing left, I had to let it go when your false promises leaked out of my chest
So, go ahead and pity me, and hate me for the truth in my words, you got to walk away unscathed, I was the one dragged through the dirt

I couldn’t help you as much as I wanted to, I tried so hard, I tried, but someone like you can’t be helped and only you know the reason why
So, extinguish the fire we once made and put out the flames, I have seen enough of this debacle it all ends the same
You lied to me all because you wanted to keep your control, you can have it all, take it with you and surround yourself with the memory of you letting me go.

Copyright © Amanda Kinzer | Year Posted 2024

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