Express Owl

There's a shilling in the cellar There's a killer who's a sham There's a miller with that feller In a dilly of a jam There's a tiger on the telly There's a Schweiger in a pram Have some jelly for your belly Have a lager on the tram. There's an eager beaver Billy With a meager bit of ham There's a nelly being silly With his bigger butterclam There's a winner getting thinner And a swimmer at the dam There's a finger in your dinner And a film about the Lamb. There's a limey and a lubber Wearing slimy slippers, ma'am There's some blubber on your topper Here's a scrubber for the yam There's a stopper in the pepper There's a leper name of Sam There's a pauper with a mopper And a copperheaded ram. There are posies for the nosies There stands Moses shouting "Damn!" Rubber hoses spray your toeses Brother Joseph had to scram As I yammer "Where's the hammer?" So I stammer "Fiddle-fam!" While the mummer all the summer Starts to wonder where I am. This could go on forever But I'd rather take a breather Let me blather and-or-either As I read my Mildred Cram. The nonsense poem "Express Owl" first appeared in DAISY ZOO AND OTHER PUNK-ASS NONSENSE (2017). I've a few copies tucked aside, contact me if you give a darn.