Epigrams
Epigrams by Michael R. Burch
If brevity is the soul of wit
then brevity and levity
are the whole of it.
—Michael R. Burch
To write an epigram, cram.
If you lack wit, scram!
—Michael R. Burch
Conformists of a feather
flock together.
—Michael R. Burch
If every witty thing that’s said were true,
Oscar Wilde, the world would worship You!
—Michael R. Burch
Love has the value
of gold, if it’s true;
if not, of rue.
—Michael R. Burch
Love is either wholly folly
or fully holy.
—Michael R. Burch
Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick;
Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.
—Michael R. Burch
Fierce ancient skalds summoned verse from their guts;
today’s genteel poets prefer modern ruts.
—Michael R. Burch
Little sparks may ignite great Infernos.
—Dante, translation by Michael R. Burch
Raise your words, not their volume.
Rain grows flowers, not thunder.
—Rumi, translation by Michael R. Burch
My objective is not to side with the majority, but to avoid the ranks of the insane.—Marcus Aurelius, translation by Michael R. Burch
Nothing enables authority like silence.—Leonardo da Vinci, translation by Michael R. Burch
Love distills the eyes’ desires, love bewitches the heart with its grace.—Euripides, translation by Michael R. Burch
Religion is the opiate of the people.—Karl Marx
Religion is the dopiate of the sheeple.—Michael R. Burch
Once fanaticism has gangrened brains
the incurable malady invariably remains.
—Voltaire, translation by Michael R. Burch
To live without philosophizing is to close one's eyes and never attempt to open them.—René Descartes, translation by Michael R. Burch
Civility
is the ability
to disagree
agreeably.
—Michael R. Burch
Marketing 101
by Michael R. Burch
Building her brand, she disrobes,
naked, except for her earlobes.
Sex Hex
by Michael R. Burch
Love’s full of cute paradoxes
(and highly acute poxes).
Vice Grip
by Michael R. Burch
There’s no need to rant about Al-Qaeda and ISIS.
The cruelty of “civilization” suffices:
our ordinary vices.
Lance-Lot
by Michael R. Burch
Preposterous bird!
Inelegant! Absurd!
Until the great & mighty heron
brandishes his fearsome sword.
Nun Fun Undone
by Michael R. Burch
Abbesses’
recesses
are not for excesses!
Laughter’s Cry
by Michael R. Burch
Because life is a mystery, we laugh
and do not know the half.
Because death is a mystery, we cry
when one is gone, our numbering thrown awry.
Not Elves, Exactly
by Michael R. Burch
Something there is that likes a wall,
that likes it spiked and likes it tall,
that likes its pikes’ sharp rows of teeth
and doesn’t mind its victims’ grief
(wherever they come from, far or wide)
as long as they fall on the other side.
Long Division
by Michael R. Burch
All things become one
Through death’s long division
And perfect precision.
Meal Deal
by Michael R. Burch
Love is a splendid ideal,
at least till it costs us a meal.
Self-ish
by Michael R. Burch
Let’s not pretend we “understand” other elves
As long as we remain mysteries to ourselves.
Fleet Tweet
@mikerburch
1.
A tweet
by any other name
would be as fleet.
2.
Remember, doggonit,
heroic verse crowns the Shakespearean sonnet!
So if you intend to write a couplet,
please do it on the doublet!
Stage Fright
by Michael R. Burch
To be or not to be?
In the end Hamlet
opted for naught.
Redefinitions
by Michael R. Burch
Faith: falling into the same old claptrap.
Religion: the ties that blind.
Baseball: bits of hittin' with infinite spittin’.
Trickle down economics: an especially pungent golden shower.
NOVELTIES
by Thomas Campion
translation by Michael R. Burch
Booksellers laud authors for novel editions
as pimps praise their whores for exotic positions.
Procreation
is at first great sweaty recreation,
then—long, long after the sex dies—
the source of endless exercise.
—Michael R. Burch
Piecemeal
by Michael R. Burch
And so it begins—the ending.
The narrowing veins, the soft tissues rending.
Your final solution is pending.
(A pale Piggy-Wiggy
will discount your death as no biggie.)
Liquidity
by Michael R. Burch
And so I have loved you, and so I have lost,
accrued disappointment, ledgered its cost,
debited wisdom, credited pain...
My assets remaining are liquid again.
Fahr an’ Ice
by Michael R. Burch
From what I know of death, I’ll side with those
who’d like to have a say in how it goes:
just make mine cool, cool rocks (twice drowned in likker),
and real fahr off, instead of quicker.
Mate Check
by Michael R. Burch
Love is an ache hearts willingly secure
then break the bank to cure.
Incompatibles
by Michael R. Burch
Reason’s
treason!
cries the Heart.
Love’s
insane,
replies the Brain.
Grave Oversight
by Michael R. Burch
The dead are always with us,
and yet they are naught!
Questionable Credentials
by Michael R. Burch
Poet? Critic? Dilettante?
Do you know what’s good, or do you merely flaunt?
Negligibles
by Michael R. Burch
Show me your most intimate items of apparel:
begin with the hem of your quicksilver slip...
Negotiables
by Michael R. Burch
Love should be more than the sum of its parts:
of its potions and pills and subterranean arts.
Bible Libel
by Michael R. Burch
If God
is good,
half the Bible
is libel.
Saving Graces
by Michael R. Burch
Life’s saving graces are love, pleasure, laughter
(wisdom, it seems, is for the Hereafter).
Multiplication, Tabled
by Michael R. Burch
“Be fruitful and multiply”?
Great advice, for a fruitfly!
But for women and men,
simple Simons, say, “WHEN!”
Biblical Knowledge
by Michael R. Burch
The wisest man the world has ever seen—
had fourscore concubines and threescore queens?
This gives us pause, and so we venture hence—
he “knew” them, wisely, in the broader sense.
Murder Most Fowl!
by Michael R. Burch
“Murder most foul!”
cried the mouse to the owl.
“Friend, I’m no sinner;
you’re merely my dinner!”
the wise owl replied
as the tasty snack died.
Brief Fling
by Michael R. Burch
“Epigram”
means cram,
then scram!
Copyright © Michael Burch | Year Posted 2019
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