Scott Thirtyseven Poet Free verse

Envy

ENVY
(Words inspired by Casarah)

Our faces are turned toward Bangkok
That buzzing hive of humanity
Where folk brush against each other
As they twirl and dance
In an effort to maintain direction

Not that we were going to Bangkok
Not that we were currently going anywhere

We sit defeated
Restraining our combustion engine horses
Their promise fuelled motors straining
Wanting to accelerate into freedom
A few fleeting moments
Before being reined in again
By the brakes

Unlike those in the north bound lanes
Unlike those with a clear path before them

Piloting their roaring beasts
Who revel in their delight
Eating up empty kilos of asphalt
In their haste toward a distant destination
A cosy castle or a sweet vacation

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Paul Callus March 22, 2017 at 10:23 AM Hi Scott...I've just been linked to this via twitter. Having only read the final version I can safely declare that I see no reason for any further change. It is a cleverly written poem, reflecting a feeling of unenviable hopelessness! #7 Regards paul

Richard Lamoureux February 25, 2017 at 9:09 AM Enjoyable to reread this one Scott.

Joe Maverick August 20, 2016 at 12:59 AM Enjoyed the read Scott, maybe I'll post something at some stage, my mind can't be on it at the moment.' All the best.)

Kai Michael Neumann August 2, 2016 at 3:39 AM I like your take on envy. It is often the comparatively little things that spark us off. Your poem is thoughtful and made me think. Kilos of asphalt in the bigger picture is nothing at all and yet represents so much destruction caused by greed and envy. This is well written.

Bl Devnath July 29, 2016 at 12:24 PM Very deeply penned my friend. A 7. Hugs, Cloudy Poet

Connie Marcum Wong July 27, 2016 at 5:09 AM Scott, I think your poem is very clear. The minute you mention brakes turns horses into horse power. I didn't read this before your changes, but I love the exasperation you convey of being stuck in traffic, envying cars in the other lane moving smoothly. It happens here all the time after work. I love the sense of passion within this piece. Can road rage be far off? Brilliant! 7 ; )

Len Gasun July 20, 2016 at 8:44 AM Well written and thought provoking poem my dear friend, scott. Thanks a lot for sharing and chok dee duai ka.

Gary Bateman July 6, 2016 at 12:31 PM Scott, This is a really interesting poem indeed. Cas gave you some great ideas to work with here. This type of imagery as you've employed it so artfully here, makes for a very compelling and powerful write. Excellent Work!! "7" Cheers and Best, Gary

Harry Horsman July 3, 2016 at 4:02 PM Hey this is awesome Scott, love it...

Jack Horne July 2, 2016 at 5:32 PM yes, it works very well for me, mate - very thought provoking & thoughtful. sure, feel free to tweet any of my stuff - no need to ask. have a great weekend

Richard Lamoureux June 30, 2016 at 9:05 AM Not that we are going to Bangkok. Not that we are going anywhere. This puts your thoughts in the present tense. I do like the feel of this piece. It is well with the additional effort.

Matthew Anish June 27, 2016 at 1:07 PM Liked the last two liens especially. Can hear the motors in y head! Peace & Blessings' Matthew Anish

Anne-Lise Andresen June 27, 2016 at 6:01 AM - mile after mile on noisy highways .... smell of warm horsepower .....- Give me a humble cottage by the sea - Great written, Scott - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Casarah Nance June 26, 2016 at 7:50 PM excellent Scott, :) hugsxx

Andrea Dietrich June 26, 2016 at 10:31 AM Yes, that was improved! Now for one more suggestion: You started in the past tense and went to present in the middle. keep your tense consistent all the way through. Either put it all in the "now" or use past tense all the way through and it will be perfect!

Andrea Dietrich June 23, 2016 at 7:45 PM Wow, Casarah sure had lots of ideas for you. I had believed you were describing actual horse carriages but Casarah's way shows it as actual cars. Other than that, i think the rest of it is very clear and I love your ending.

Casarah Nance June 23, 2016 at 11:53 AM "Around us an awaiting stampede of horsepower. Engines beg to be unbridled. Anticipation fuels the motor and oil burns. Teased by the touch of acceleration, only to be reigned by the brake petal." I like the idea, the descriptions, hugs x Scott Thirtyseven June 23, 2016 at 7:37 PM Love it, thanks heaps, you've got my mind ticking to a slightly different beat. I'll let you know when it's done.