Entropy 5

Suzanne realized as quickly as she focused her bottled up angst upon this young woman that it Was misplaced.Standing behind her son with hands on his square little shoulders Francis eyed her in concern. How can I ask her to pick up the tab for issues that long preceded her?What did any of it matter anymore? She went to get a packet of cocoa from supplies after asking if it was ok.Made a warm cup and offered it to the boy.She then handed the girl a mug of coffee and the klatch began. Francis began offering what appeared to be a heartfelt apology.Suzanne let this settle in. Willed herself to remain calm for the child's sake if no other. I am shocked not in that you have shown up here Pertinent to my life.My wonderment is the degree to which I was able to overlook the obvious. Arlis has been showing up in a way that should have been a clear indication for some time. She had felt his absence while in his presence as the life they had known slowly dissapeared. Suzanne understood her visceral reaction in seeing Donny that she had been the first to vacate.Knowing the child she had always wanted was never to be had consumed her entirely.The Vibrancy once defining her replaced by a duty driven automaton. She didn't question the absence that occurred for longer periods and with more frequency.It allowed her time to sulk in peace.She and her husband of eighteen years were held in place in their marital arrangement solely by the vow they had made when it began. Civil ,perfuntory,not adjectives used to describe what they had hoped for that day. Francis A piece that brought this puzzle further into focus and Donny the center piece that explained so much.Arlis had spoken of the future with concern when he sought to make her feel better about her infertility.They could adopt he offered.There were children in need of loving parents. Foolishly she would not allow him to comfort her.Would not allow the thought of any child taking the place of the one she had hoped for,dreamed of caring for.The one she grieved. As with all things that which is not nourished and fed soon begins not to die in their case but to slowly break apart , to erode away at the edges.To begin to dismantle into molecules ever smaller. Till disengagement. The preceding days had began the process of Introspection.Today had only took that which she Intuitively understood and brought it into the light. Arlis had approached this girl as a man unnattached.So it was.She saw this now.