Empty Perception of An Empty World, Depersonalization and Derealization

I know you see me, but I am blind to you. 
Numb to you, because you are just as blind.
I know you feel me, but I cannot touch you.
No reach can pull you closer, because you are not there.

I know you hear me, but I am deaf to your cries.
Nothing desensitizes me more than your anguish.
I know you hold me, but it is no more than the embrace of a ghost.
A ghost of my present, my present existence is a distant memory of the past.

I know you see me. You MUST see me. 
If I am not seen by you, I no longer possess myself.
If I no longer possess myself, I have no self.
Without my sense of self, I wither to a pale shell.

This shell is growing cold. Please, show me yourself.
Let me see you. Let me remember what it is like
To no longer be a memory
To no longer be empty

I know you are me, but I am not you.
There is no you.
There is no me.
All that is left is my empty shell that was once filled by a soul.

Mirror, mirror, who is looking at me?
Is it you, woman I used to be?
She has no emotion, she has no air
She has no being, just an empty stare.

She has to go now.
It's only right.
To not have your self, is to lose the fight.
It is to be dead before your heart stops beating.

I am dead inside, cold in my heart
Stuck in a memory, I am a memory
"I" is no longer a truth
Just...an empty word.

Goodbye.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2017

Poem

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White Avatar
June 9, 2017 at 2:21 AM
I was drawn to the title, because this is part ofn what I am officially diagnosed with. It's a scary thing, happening that to you so yeah, I understand. You take care! Welcome to PoetrySoup :)
Valdivia Avatar
June 11, 2017 at 2:46 PM
You take care too, and thank you (: I think writing about it is the only way to make sense of an impossible sensation
Green Avatar
June 8, 2017 at 7:08 AM
Such a deep and emotional write. When we become lost from ourselves, finding the way back is always more difficult. Nicely done.
Valdivia Avatar
June 8, 2017 at 10:43 PM
After 5 years, I think I lost my self for good. But I won't give up
Lustrup Avatar
June 8, 2017 at 5:32 AM
Bravo!! **applauds** love it!
Valdivia Avatar
June 8, 2017 at 10:42 PM
Thank you so much (:
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