Easter As Interpreted By This Atheist

though avast percentage of Stone Temple Pilots, she push peep pulls viz vernacular speaking population to most pious take as gospel every word in religious tomes their collective soul asylum polestar, and doth decree important doctrines with especial accord equal insignificance applied toward Judeo-Christian holidays across the board thus easter tis no exception to the golden rule, where santa claus reached an a chord follow auspicious signs alit in the night sky shaped like a drinking gourd perhaps amassing plentiful harvests upon hamlets strewn across scantily populated Earth asper cornucopia exhibited secret hoard sharing plentiful Horn (and Hard art learned lesson) to stave off barren ness, ignored going forward seeding nascent March Madness with help from Lord and Tailor as midwife hoot tended Ville Nova moored by Wildcat fanatics, who unbelievably espied heavens cleft asunder and golden rays poured while collective spectators loudly screamed akin to the soundgarden of ferocious cats roared witnessed history scored earning players knighted with Excalibur sword thence entire team handed Taj Mahal shaped award which aforementioned ass hide lacks, cuz zit happens tubby April Fool's joke thus above iterated verses somehow needs just a little bit of relevance to yoke thine admitted ambivalent reaction to sports, yea aye pay figurative toke hen to Rabbinic, generic fanatic primal tribal village people clan destine woke and swinging focus of this poem back toward Religious perp ported berth when (sans antiquity) trumpet signaled thus, any superstitions blew away dearth when distant shofar heard in every home and hearth anticipating arrival of the Easter Bunny, who brings mirth and hop poly distributes sweet treats, which children as grown adults, no matter necessity for teeth to be removed the sugary over indulgence wool worth today thee American Dental Association chastises candy manufacturers bandying more weight gaining deadly, debauched, and decadent, trait then adultery verboten fruit to sate hash-tagged reprobate.