Eary Solution

I’d been cutting spuds for seed beneath the pines on Rouse’s lot,
and putting lime upon the open flesh to make sure they don’t rot.
I had to slice so every piece contained a growing eye,
and every spud that goes to ground will live so none should die.

Of course the sowing’s done with tractors if you know what I mean.
The spuds are tipped into a hopper and are planted by machine.
One bloke drives the tractor while on the hopper one is manned,  
so I cannot do the job alone - I need a helping hand.

Now the bloke I’ve got to help me is a rough and ready bloke,
who doesn’t mind a beer or two and quite enjoys a smoke.
He says a man should be a man. He should drink and swear and fight.
Of course when he brings up this subject I agree that he is right.

Though I thought with his bravado that one action did seem strange,
and at first I wasn’t game to ask him ‘what’s bought on the change!’
For he’s in singlet, shorts and thongs; that’s his normal working gear,
but he’s got a fancy golden ring dangling from one ear.

It wasn’t like those sleeper rings that blokes have taken to;
it looked more like a socialite’s that’s worth a bob or two,
and so when it came to ‘smoko’, I threw out a bit of bait,
but in a sheepish way he said “It’s just an ear ring mate!”

I told him that I knew that for the evidence is clear,
so I asked him “For how long had he worn it in his ear!”   
He stammered when he tried to speak, then finally he said,
“I’ve worn it ever since the missus found it in our bed.”
Copyright © | Year Posted 2022

Poem

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Zahid Avatar
August 4, 2022 at 1:19 AM
That's a great write. Very nicely penned... Blessings ~Paghunda
Ray Avatar
June 10, 2022 at 9:07 PM
i love this style, makes lines come alive with the story and truly adore the humor....how deftly the last lines reel one in and drop Y'all this better side of existence...makes me feel a whole lot better and erase that memory of a thong i had to wear and why i check the car thoroughly nights i am on a walkabout before going home
Delaney Avatar
June 3, 2022 at 9:34 AM
Your final lines always make me laugh out loud, Lindsay…and the title is a real draw card. Excellent storytelling my friend. You are up ther with Banjo in my book. Cheers, SuZ
Goldsmith Avatar
April 3, 2022 at 9:45 AM
So cute/funny. Thanks for the laugh. Loved the ending. I wish you would write more. Have a blessed day writing away...............
Proxenos Avatar
February 13, 2022 at 1:23 AM
Guess he was more than guilty, forgot to put it back on, must have been quite the guy with a glad eye, great punchline as always Lindsay my friend. Hugs and blessings Jennifer.
Laurie Avatar
February 13, 2022 at 4:12 PM
Hello Jennifer ... playing a dangerous game is sure to end up in tears, but many never learn - thanks again Jennifer - Lindsay
Marcum Wong Avatar
February 10, 2022 at 8:20 AM
Oh this is so funny. I was wondering how this would end. You are the best at telling these poetic stories Lindsay. I needed a laugh this morning. Thank you! Blessings xxoo
Laurie Avatar
February 13, 2022 at 4:09 PM
Hello Connie ... yes, they never seem to end up the way they start and they usually only all come together in the last line. I'm pleased you got a chuckle Connie - Lindsay
Kiser Avatar
February 8, 2022 at 12:34 PM
Oh boy, that screams guilty! Enjoyed this fun read.
Laurie Avatar
February 13, 2022 at 4:06 PM
Hello M.L. ... I wonder if he bought the ear rings in the first place as a gift, not expecting to wear one himself - thank you M.L. - Lindsay
Babcock Avatar
February 2, 2022 at 9:10 AM
Ha ha caught int he act. Now he has a reminder. Enjoyed and had a chuckle. love phyl
Laurie Avatar
February 13, 2022 at 4:03 PM
Hello Phyllis ... sometimes when you ask for trouble you get it. I'm pleased you saw the funny side of his dilemma Phyllis - Lindsay
Buehler Avatar
February 1, 2022 at 8:56 PM
Ha Ha! At least his wife didn't find two. Your stories are so entertaining, Lindsay. Enjoy your week. :D
Laurie Avatar
February 13, 2022 at 4:00 PM
Hello Evelyn ... thank you for your encouraging comment Evelyn. I reckon he's not in the emergency ward - Lindsay
Flood Avatar
February 1, 2022 at 5:08 PM
Yowch! Did he have to pierce his ear first? Funny… but so nut shrinking. Terry
Laurie Avatar
February 13, 2022 at 3:39 PM
Hello Terry ... dunno, but he had to do unthinkable things to keep his nuts - thanks Terry - Lindsay
Leffanta Avatar
February 1, 2022 at 10:32 AM
Another great finish! Enjoyed, Lindsay! Incidentally, why don't vegans consider eating potatoes cruel since, as you have mentioned, potatoes struggle to survive to the bitter end?
Laurie Avatar
February 13, 2022 at 3:37 PM
Hello Rico ... do you realize vegetarians are starving animals by eating all their food. This bloke in the poem thought of that as he thinks quick - thanks Rico - Lindsay
Cunningham Avatar
February 1, 2022 at 7:15 AM
Lol caught in the act. Tom
Laurie Avatar
February 13, 2022 at 3:34 PM
Hello Tom ... quick thinking might have saved him this time, but has he learned his lesson - thanks Tom - Lindsay
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