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Earth Cries

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My pulse is weak; it flutters while I plead for air to give my lungs a chance to breathe. Abuse must stop, or soon my heart will bleed. My virgin flesh despoiled and robbed for greed, in pain I cringe and hide my face in shame. My pulse is weak; it flutters while I plead. Entwined in thorns, I’m begging to be freed. My lips are dry; they thirst for kiss of life. Abuse must stop, or soon my heart will bleed. These ailing limbs, unwilling to concede defeat, as vibrant echoes numb the mind. My pulse is weak; it flutters while I plead. Mankind is blind, appears to take no heed. The soul is lost and time is running out. Abuse must stop, or soon my heart will bleed. On verge of suffocation, I’m in need of love and hope to sprout from hidden seed. My pulse is weak; it flutters while I plead. Abuse must stop, or soon my heart will bleed. --------------------------------- International Earth Day Contest Hosted by Carolyn Devonshire [Published in Kavya Kishor, Bangladesh ~ 25 April 2023]

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Dr. Upma A. Sharma

Date: 8/20/2015 1:01:00 AM

Congrats on ur awesome poem n win Paul! Wonder how it got screwed up earlier?

Paul Callus
Date: 8/20/2015 3:45:00 AM

We all judge differently, Upma!! Tastes differ...shows we are not robots:) Thank you for a lovely visit! // paul

Skat A

Date: 8/19/2015 1:53:00 AM

Paul, nice to see this one get the honor it deserves.... SKAT

Paul Callus
Date: 8/20/2015 3:32:00 AM

Thank you Skat! To me, raising awareness to earth's plight is most important. ~ All the best. // paul

MD Johnson

Date: 7/25/2015 9:48:00 PM

Very moving and nicely constructed villanelle. Some of my favorites are in this style. I have tried, but not nearly as well as you. Well done.

Paul Callus
Date: 7/26/2015 3:30:00 AM

Thank you for the nice comments, Michael. Villanelle are not easy to construct. Lots of thought is needed as preparation in order to get a flowing effect, and rhyme could be tricky, too. Have a nice day. // paul

Robert Lindley

Date: 7/14/2015 9:04:00 AM

Absolutely love this poem and its message my friend. I would give it a ten but this seven will just have to do..A7

Paul Callus
Date: 7/14/2015 4:04:00 PM

Thank you for your generosity, Robert! Villanelle is an interesting form to use; I am glad that the message has been appreciated. All the best, my friend. // paul

Laura Hay

Date: 6/28/2015 1:48:00 AM

Excellent write/read Paul! Kind Rgds Laura

Paul Callus
Date: 6/28/2015 3:56:00 AM

Thank you Laura; your 'excellent' comment is most encouraging:) All the best. // paul

Constance La France

Date: 6/26/2015 8:03:00 AM

Paul, this write is beyond wonderful, a 10, so powerfully sad, well done and thanks for visiting my haiku 9

Paul Callus
Date: 6/26/2015 8:16:00 AM

You are too kind, Constance:) Both comments and high rating are much appreciated! Have a nice weekend. // paul

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 6/25/2015 8:46:00 PM

don't see congrats here. Sorry if it did not get on her list, Paul. I enjoyed your comment on my interview piece. Yes, ALSO Adam and I have in common, we do not enjoy much fruit in our diets!! Not apples either. hahaha

Paul Callus
Date: 6/26/2015 7:03:00 AM

No worries re contest...I awarded myself a win:)) No apples, huh!! Do keep us updated about the 'relationship:) // paul

Emile Pinet

Date: 6/24/2015 5:30:00 PM

Your words speak with the power of realism, striking a common cord of concern as your mind set flows onto the page and we can connect with your feelings. Emile.

Paul Callus
Date: 6/25/2015 4:16:00 PM

Thank you for the insightful comments, Emile; so pleased that you enjoyed my poem, and its message. // paul

Carol Eastman

Date: 6/24/2015 9:14:00 AM

I loved the flow and the message. It was very well written, indeed!. You displayed a lot of talent, here.

Paul Callus
Date: 6/25/2015 4:14:00 PM

Thank you Carol; you are too kind (but I love your feedback!) All the best. // paul

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 6/23/2015 8:14:00 PM

Very good use of personification, give yourself a bit more breathing room try 12 syllables per line? Thanks so much for stopping by-Light & Love

Paul Callus
Date: 6/24/2015 5:29:00 AM

Hi Debbie! Thank you for reading and for the feedback; for my next Villanelle I will take up your suggestion:) All the best...paul

Gary Bateman

Date: 6/23/2015 10:08:00 AM

Hello Paul, This is a most excellent Villanelle!! I've written one of these in the past for my first book. I currently plan to do another soon. These are challenging writes to put together, but you've done this one so very well. Good Luck in the contest!! I think you may have the Winner with this write!! Reading your poem here reminded me of a rhymed couplet I wrote a few months ago called: "Mother Nature Cries." There are some parallels. The literary flavor poem is excellent!! A 7 + FAV! Gary

Paul Callus
Date: 6/23/2015 4:02:00 PM

Your encouraging feedback is a joy to read, Gary. Villanelle sounds easy, but is not. Same applies to Terzanelle. Before starting to write, some technicalities have to be observed. Thank you for both the high rating and the fav!! All the best. // paul

Kp Nunez

Date: 6/23/2015 9:12:00 AM

You've combined the power both of content and form to create a compelling read and beautiful write, my friend. A 7 and a fav. PS. Sorry for not being able to comment for sometime, was away and still catching up. Hugs! :-)

Paul Callus
Date: 6/23/2015 4:08:00 PM

Thank you Kim; your insightful comments are music to my ears; so are the high rating and the fav...you are too kind:) No problem about being away for a while...priorities come first; catching up is not easy at all:) Top marks went to your Terzanelle...very much impressed!! hugs // paul

Afolabi Muideen

Date: 6/23/2015 2:08:00 AM

An excellent write for the contest Paul, good luck in the contest........A.M.

Paul Callus
Date: 6/23/2015 10:58:00 AM

Thank you, Afolabi. Your visit is an encouraging one! // paul

James Marshall Goff

Date: 6/22/2015 9:25:00 PM

Paul, well done! We are, and many concur, that we are living in the 6th mass extinction of vertibrae life, man included, it does not have to be so...but all signs point to preparations being taken by a few evil globalists to demolish the precious skin of the apple we call the surface of earth....only love on a united scale can save us...jimbo

Paul Callus
Date: 6/23/2015 10:49:00 AM

Thank you for the insightful comments, James! I have this nagging feeling that ultimately it will be nature itself that will turn on us and teach us one big lesson! All the best. // paul

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 6/22/2015 7:59:00 PM

Excellent writing Paul! You used this form to full advantage.

Paul Callus
Date: 6/23/2015 10:19:00 AM

Thank you Richard. Hope the message is clear enough to raise awareness. // paul

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 6/22/2015 3:48:00 PM

this is very creative work, Paul. A metaphorical villanelle. Not an easy thing to accomplish. Good luck in the contest.

Paul Callus
Date: 6/22/2015 4:46:00 PM

Thank you Andrea; no, it is not easy when it comes to rhyming words; I'm glad you found it creative. // paul

Constance La France

Date: 6/22/2015 11:44:00 AM

Paul. This is a wonderful write for the contest. A perfect 7 and thanks for visiting my poem, decay

Paul Callus
Date: 6/22/2015 3:25:00 PM

A double thank you Constance, for the lovely comments and high rating. All the best. // paul

Viv Wigley

Date: 6/22/2015 12:34:00 AM

A strong message, and as for the Villanelle you are a master of your craft, Paul. High regards, Viv

Paul Callus
Date: 6/22/2015 3:28:00 PM

You are too kind, Viv; your comments are truly appreciated. All the best. // paul

Njeri Hunjeri

Date: 6/21/2015 9:51:00 PM

Am on your team too.for the abuse to stop.

Paul Callus
Date: 6/22/2015 3:24:00 PM

Thank you for your support, Njeri..and for stopping by. // paul

Ilene Bauer

Date: 6/21/2015 8:21:00 PM

alas, i don't see the abuse stopping anytime soon, paul, but your passionate poem has conveyed your fervent plea quite brilliantly...

Paul Callus
Date: 6/22/2015 3:31:00 PM

Raising awareness is the least I can do, Ilene. I know that stopping abuse is hard, but we just cannot give up. Thank you for your lovely feedback. / paul

Alexis Y.

Date: 6/21/2015 5:18:00 PM

I just popped back to give you a 7 for a job well done:)Alexis

Alexis Y.

Date: 6/21/2015 5:15:00 PM

Paul, this is a well written eye opening piece. I agree with its powerful message. The abuse must stop. Excellent job.Good luck in the contest :) Alexis

Paul Callus
Date: 6/21/2015 5:36:00 PM

Many thanks Alexis, both for the insightful comments and the high rating. :))) to you too:)) // paul

Jan Allison

Date: 6/21/2015 3:50:00 PM

Brilliant villanelle the personification and imagery is wonderful Paul this would also be excellent for the 'stuff' contest:-) good luck in the contest:-) hugs Jan xx 7

Paul Callus
Date: 6/21/2015 5:09:00 PM

Thank you Jan; so glad that you like it. I still have to see what the "Stuff" contest is about. Hugs // paul