Nette Onclaud Poet Verse

Duplex

red of wrath


dusk jams
  the light,
     her teeth
        gnashing
           from wrath
              pierced by
                deceit...
                      rage bangs
                            on walls;
                                 cut-glass
                                  slitting                         
                         inside
             vile mouth
                lashed with
                      falsehood—

    his lies
       about
           lust’s tryst
     masked, hushed...
        she pants,
            tongue’s fire
                explodes
      just like
       boiled veins
          curdling
              until,
                   raw flash
             growls on,
                                 
           “YOU SCUM—
         wolf  for
                   harlots!"
      torn  wife
  bleeds red.

         ~   
      Duplex Contest
        For Jan Allison
          11.08.2016

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Darren White December 10, 2016 at 11:56 PM Wow Nette, symbolic or true, the ferocity jumps at you... Congratulations!

Alexis Y. December 10, 2016 at 8:06 PM Hi Nette, I'm just coming back to say congratulations on your 1st place win. It was well deserved: -) Alexis

Agnes Krampe December 10, 2016 at 7:54 PM Coming back with congrats!

Jan Allison December 10, 2016 at 6:30 PM I love the way you formatted this very descriptive poem Nette :-) I am delighted people took time to have a go at the contest and it filled so quickly:-) Many congrats on your top spot:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich December 8, 2016 at 6:21 PM I'm not sure it was really murder, was it, Nette? I am wondering if all the red blood images, etc were symbolic only. Anyway, it was VERY descriptive. Most descriptive I think I have read for this contest.

Janis Medders Tobechi December 7, 2016 at 9:48 PM I see clearly what is going on in this relationship. Great write, nette. Should be a winner I predict.

Space Cadet December 7, 2016 at 9:37 PM Wow. Bruising, cold, and venomous image(s) with just enough words to emote your message. Great work. Thank you for sharing. -- Wesley C.

Daniel Turner December 7, 2016 at 5:15 PM Quite vitriolic, nette. Banging on walls,cutting glass, vile mouth, I shutter to think.

Doug Vinson December 7, 2016 at 3:29 PM Whew...Wow... "boiled veins curdling" and "cut glass slitting" - these are choice cuts of language. Hot with rage and sad violence, great poetry.

Anne-Lise Andresen December 7, 2016 at 2:06 PM - .... powerful and great written, Nette - Good luck in the contest - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Heidi Sands December 7, 2016 at 1:48 PM Nette, that really shows it . Good luck in the contest!

Agnes Krampe December 7, 2016 at 1:31 PM Nice one, Nette! the two syllable form gives it a breathless quality, the anger gets through really well. Good luck in the contest.

Alexis Y. December 7, 2016 at 1:03 PM WoW! Nette, this is good. I could feel the angst, hurt and deceit. Well done. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. A without a doubt seven:-) Alexis

Tim Smith December 7, 2016 at 12:37 PM Great nette...I like how each line has its own emphasis.

Chris Green December 7, 2016 at 12:35 PM Wow Nette, this was so good. The anger was felt and the betrayal hurt. Nicely done and good luck in the contest.