Dreaming

I see a sea in my dreams
Waving and gleaming like streams
When the sun goes up and down
Its crystal lights make me drown

Beside me the three gigantic trees 
Dancing, branches clapping with the bees
Oh yes! Looking at them happily 
Gay feeling surrounds me rapidly

Cold breeze is suddenly blowing
Far from distance there is sighing
Turning around to see what I hear
Sparkling image disturbs my firm fear

Looking down his hand's extended to me
Indeed confuse but then ask, "who is he?"
The naughty two eyes with flattered mind
Want to know what's his feeling behind

Your name is given starts with letter "M"
What ah! It is my favorite... "ehem"
Suddenly the presence goes far 
No! Not now, show me who you are?

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013



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Date: 9/5/2013 9:35:00 AM
Cool piece, and I liked that it rhymed. I also noticed it was the only piece in your portfolio that did rhyme; I encourage you to write more rhyming poems. Kudos! :)
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Elai Cee
Date: 9/13/2013 12:24:00 PM
Yes I will, I have plan to do again like this.
Date: 6/23/2013 4:59:00 AM
I love the intent you have in writing this. Editing and rewrites will bring this entry to near perfection. and you will be all the better for it.... Love you, girl. Just know that we, here at PSoup appreciate your work. Love and hugs.... Jake
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Elai Cee
Date: 6/23/2013 8:53:00 AM
ur right John, thank u
Date: 6/8/2013 10:21:00 AM
Very lovely poem, well done! - Alisher
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Date: 6/6/2013 11:19:00 AM
Hi Elai You have a wonderful imagination. Keep on writing......with love, SuZ
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Date: 5/26/2013 10:45:00 PM
Beautiful piece! Very well written. -edward
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Elai Cee
Date: 5/27/2013 7:07:00 AM
hey Edward. Thanks
Date: 5/21/2013 7:28:00 PM
Like a dream... a bit incoherent, a bit confusing, in-congruent images, illogical segues. Nice. I agree with Rockman on the meter and rhyme. Cheers, Roy
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Elai Cee
Date: 5/24/2013 4:56:00 AM
yeah. thanks Roy... plan to edit this...
Date: 5/20/2013 8:50:00 AM
wow, the crystal lights are mesmerizing and can leave a drowning effect on one. I like your poem very much Elai.... glad your dreams can reveal and give you warning signs... hope you woke up with reality... enjoyed~ Linda
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Date: 5/20/2013 2:18:00 AM
Not bad Elai. And I thank you for your comment on my poem. But I think this one could use some improvements. For example (and I don't mean to change your poem in any way), but the second line could be something like "like streams" instead of "like a stream". I like to write in rhyme and I feel like it should have a sing song effect. Your poem had some nice imagery but the meter made me stumble as I read it. I hope this was insightful and not discouraging. Rockman
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Elai Cee
Date: 5/20/2013 3:11:00 AM
It's ok Rockman, I appreciate your comment here thank you it helps me a lot!
Date: 5/19/2013 7:58:00 PM
Enjoy reading...
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