Dreaming

I see a sea in my dreams Waving and gleaming like streams When the sun goes up and down Its crystal lights make me drown Beside me the three gigantic trees Dancing, branches clapping with the bees Oh yes! Looking at them happily Gay feeling surrounds me rapidly Cold breeze is suddenly blowing Far from distance there is sighing Turning around to see what I hear Sparkling image disturbs my firm fear Looking down his hand's extended to me Indeed confuse but then ask, "who is he?" The naughty two eyes with flattered mind Want to know what's his feeling behind Your name is given starts with letter "M" What ah! It is my favorite... "ehem" Suddenly the presence goes far No! Not now, show me who you are?

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Just That Archaic Poet

Date: 9/5/2013 9:35:00 AM

Cool piece, and I liked that it rhymed. I also noticed it was the only piece in your portfolio that did rhyme; I encourage you to write more rhyming poems. Kudos! :)

Elai Cee
Date: 9/13/2013 12:24:00 PM

Yes I will, I have plan to do again like this.

John Posey

Date: 6/23/2013 4:59:00 AM

I love the intent you have in writing this. Editing and rewrites will bring this entry to near perfection. and you will be all the better for it.... Love you, girl. Just know that we, here at PSoup appreciate your work. Love and hugs.... Jake

Elai Cee
Date: 6/23/2013 8:53:00 AM

ur right John, thank u

Alisher Mirzoev

Date: 6/8/2013 10:21:00 AM

Very lovely poem, well done! - Alisher

Suzanne Delaney

Date: 6/6/2013 11:19:00 AM

Hi Elai You have a wonderful imagination. Keep on writing......with love, SuZ

Edward Orozco

Date: 5/26/2013 10:45:00 PM

Beautiful piece! Very well written. -edward

Elai Cee
Date: 5/27/2013 7:07:00 AM

hey Edward. Thanks

Roy Jerden

Date: 5/21/2013 7:28:00 PM

Like a dream... a bit incoherent, a bit confusing, in-congruent images, illogical segues. Nice. I agree with Rockman on the meter and rhyme. Cheers, Roy

Elai Cee
Date: 5/24/2013 4:56:00 AM

yeah. thanks Roy... plan to edit this...

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 5/20/2013 8:50:00 AM

wow, the crystal lights are mesmerizing and can leave a drowning effect on one. I like your poem very much Elai.... glad your dreams can reveal and give you warning signs... hope you woke up with reality... enjoyed~ Linda

Rockman Pritts

Date: 5/20/2013 2:18:00 AM

Not bad Elai. And I thank you for your comment on my poem. But I think this one could use some improvements. For example (and I don't mean to change your poem in any way), but the second line could be something like "like streams" instead of "like a stream". I like to write in rhyme and I feel like it should have a sing song effect. Your poem had some nice imagery but the meter made me stumble as I read it. I hope this was insightful and not discouraging. Rockman

Elai Cee
Date: 5/20/2013 3:11:00 AM

It's ok Rockman, I appreciate your comment here thank you it helps me a lot!

Elai Cee

Date: 5/19/2013 7:58:00 PM

Enjoy reading...