Doubts and fears

The world, a canvas, vast and wide, Stretches before me, yet I'm confined, A prisoner of thoughts that won't subside, And fears that whisper, "You're not divine." I'm caught between two paths, unclear, To take the world, or let it disappear, The forces that surround me, strong and near, Pull me this way, then that, with no reprieve. I feel like a leaf, blown by the wind, Tossed about, with no control to find, And though I exist, in this world so grand, I'm still a stranger, lost, in this land. No matter how I try to hold on tight, The world, it seems, has nothing to excite, Just bitter truths, that pierce my heart, And leave me heaving, with no brand new start. If I were to write a book, a tale so true, This reality, I'd accentuate anew, The struggles I face, the doubts I've known, The longing to connect, but feeling alone. I'm aware of possibilities that lie ahead, But for now, I'm stuck, in this endless dread, The forces that surround me, strong and wide, Keep me at bay, and I'm forced to hide.