Doubt

Deep beautiful eyes and long flowing brown hair How I can look away? Or do anything but stare? Taking you out on a date was something I had in mind But after all our talks, you hit pause and then rewind As if our conversations to you meant nothing When to me our conversations really meant something And when you proceed onto the next day I sit here and think that I am not okay You’ll find another boy to talk and love and play But sitting here upon this bench is the place where I will stay As I sit, I’ll ponder all these questions in my mind: When it comes to treating women, am I just too kind? Am I not strong enough? Not so physically fit? I’m trying to determine the answer, but can’t seem to find it Is it even possible that I am just too shy? Because I am not the most outspoken, passionate guy Am I just too weird or strange to find another mate? All I want is the chance to go out on a date Am I too oblivious? Am I too insane? To find out all these answers torturing my brain Am I fit for eternal love or will I die alone? When I think of loneliness, I cry, I weep, I moan I dream of a perfect girl to love and hold me tight I pray to God to find me the girl I dream about at night Do I have the capacity to love a girl just right? To always be there for her, and love her with all my might? Yes, I can do this now, when in the past where I could not But this pain of loneliness is something I feel a lot Maybe I just wasn’t meant for a relationship Maybe the opportunity is close but I haven’t cracked the whip But for now I will just sit here and put my heart up on the shelf Wondering, “Is there something truly wrong about myself?”