Dope Sick Pain

pill pop once you like it you can't stop hit rock bottom or dead you drop and under six buried by twelve this feeling it lingers and laughs as you dumpster dive half awake half alive quasi brain dope. dope. sick. pain. can you handle can you battle the shame everyone around has to get a dig in or a word to add to this feelingless bad. sad. glad over zealous i am jealous of the simple life and all the things i had are having me instead it's so good i can handle it i'm okay did i stutter when i spoke it's under control once elation takes hold and this slippless grip i'm under throws me around just to catch me and do it again when will it end does it end with these words i say i don't have to own this or take defense you did this i'm sane i keep lists and records of those i blame can you handle can you battle the shame dope. dope. sick. pain. and i'm just so tired of hurting everyone around me the damage done has left me lonely and as of now i feel only God loves me don't judge me just try to understand and love me for what i want to become and what i am it's okay now i'm better i've got the shakes a little sick under the weather and once this physical pain it leaves me i'm back to the beginning with no one to trust me just love me hearted holy and fully fighting demons in my brain can't complain i did this i started it time to finish not a hurdle i can jump over bemoan and dismiss i know with him i am not alone so God give me strength to fight this fight i pray take this dope dope. sick. pain. away. and slowly like honey i gather my respect save some money catch a glance of the life i need and take heed give away all greed at full raging ramming speed and this selfish taking try to stop breaking all these hearts left aching and praying for my safety, it overtakes me and shakes me God gives me a little peace time to mourn to forgive and get on deal with it one by one day by day til' it's gone demons slain calm smooth waves of him envelop develop go through me til' i'm new yet still the same dope. dope. sick. pain.