Dope Sick Pain
pill pop
once you like it
you can't stop
hit rock bottom
or dead you drop
and under six
buried by twelve
this feeling
it lingers
and laughs
as you dumpster dive
half awake
half alive
quasi brain
dope.
dope. sick. pain.
can you handle
can you battle the shame
everyone around
has to get a dig in
or a word to add
to this feelingless
bad. sad. glad
over zealous i am jealous
of the simple life
and all the things i had
are having me instead
it's so good
i can handle it
i'm okay did i stutter when i spoke
it's under control
once elation takes hold
and this slippless
grip i'm under
throws me around
just to catch me
and do it again when will it end
does it end
with these words i say
i don't have to own this
or take defense
you did this i'm sane
i keep lists and records of those i blame
can you handle
can you battle the shame
dope.
dope. sick. pain.
and i'm just so tired
of hurting everyone
around me
the damage done
has left me lonely
and as of now i feel
only
God loves me
don't judge me
just try to understand and love me
for what i want to become
and what i am
it's okay
now i'm better
i've got the shakes
a little sick
under the weather
and once this
physical pain it leaves me
i'm back to the beginning
with no one
to trust me
just love me
hearted holy
and fully
fighting demons
in my brain
can't complain
i did this
i started it
time to finish
not a hurdle
i can jump over bemoan
and dismiss
i know with him
i am not alone
so God give me strength
to fight this fight
i pray
take this dope
dope. sick. pain. away.
and slowly
like honey
i gather my respect
save some money
catch a glance of the life i need
and take heed
give away all greed at full
raging ramming speed
and this selfish taking
try to stop breaking
all these hearts left aching
and praying for my
safety, it overtakes me
and shakes me
God gives me a little peace
time to mourn
to forgive and get on
deal with it
one by one
day by day
til' it's gone
demons slain
calm smooth waves of him
envelop develop
go through me til' i'm new
yet still the same
dope.
dope. sick. pain.
Copyright © Jennifer Hanebuth | Year Posted 2006
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