Don'T Make An Old Woman Mad

As the day slowly fades into a much welcomed and peaceful night. The sound of crickets and bullfrogs serenade me as I turn out the light. Well I told Jesus a quick summary of the day I had. I said Lord I’m not perfect, shoot today I plumb got mad. Well I was sitting at a red light waiting for it to turn green. When all of a sudden this little old lady walks right in front of me and I get this urge to be mean. Walking with a walking cane she was moving pretty slow So I tooted my horn thinking that might help her go. I must have startled the old thing cause she hit my hood with her cane. It set off my air bag, broke my nose, and I went insane. Next thing that happened I jump out of my car, hollering, and holding my nose. I guess I scared her again cause she starts beating me with that cane from the top of my head clear to my little toes. Now I’m on the ground and this ninety three year old grandma turns into Rambo. Shoot she ain’t stop beating on me yet, and I ain’t got no place to go. Long about then this cop pulls up which I was glad to see. At least I was till he slapped them handcuffs on me. Well he sat me in the back of his car while he talked with her first. I didn’t know what was going on but it gave me a chance to get well versed. He finally came over to me and he looked at my face and I thought he was going to crack. I had cuts, bumps, bruises all over my face from that eighty pound old womans attack. He said son do you need an ambulance or can you make it on home. And the next time you want to scare some old woman you best have a hard hat on your dome. Lord now don’t you start laughing too. Well I’m going to bed I ain’t got nothing else to say to you. Goodnight