Don'T Look Under the Bed

Don't Look Under the Bed - by Bob Atkinson ..........Oliver Goldsmith tells the story .... out walking for his health a man spied his friend of years on pathway how "are you sir?" he asked with smile "not well" the gent replied back, looked terrified "... what happed sir to create this stir you seem so stressed this day do you feel under the weather perhaps you should stand in shade? ..." the man then told his story one of dubious glory had come home early yesterday and found his wife not at her work lying without on her bed no stitch of clothes or hat on head had looked down and seen some shoes not his size, but a style he knew looking further had seen his friend under the bed with open hand covering body parts unnamed a context which him inflamed "... hmmmm the first man perused this situation's not so unusual a fix of gross proportions one of life's heartless distortions the gent began to lament how he's sending wife to mother divorcing within the week slapping her with lawyer on each cheek his friend then held up hand to stop this track of mind which he thought not a path one should take in this situation of disgrace "friend," he said with saddened tone "you have no witness on your own just your word against your lover should you really send her to her mother? your word against her own you'll alimony pay through the nose and half your wealth will be disposed to this woman of lover spoken best never again look under her bed when you come home you should slam front door hard to make some noise yell 'Honey I'm Home' loudly in bright tones" thus, the gent saw sense in this went home with smile to his sweetness "Honey I'm home," he loudly declared upon entry he never again looked under bed or pantry