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Don't Look Under the Bed
 - by Bob Atkinson

..........Oliver Goldsmith tells the story ....

out walking for his health
a man spied his friend of years on pathway
how "are you sir?" he asked with smile
"not well" the gent replied back, looked terrified

"... what happed sir to create this stir
you seem so stressed this day
do you feel under the weather
perhaps you should stand in shade? ..."

the man then told his story
one of dubious glory
had come home early yesterday
and found his wife not at her work

lying without on her bed
no stitch of clothes or hat on head
had looked down and seen some shoes
not his size, but a style he knew

looking further had seen his friend
under the bed with open hand
covering body parts unnamed
a context which him inflamed

"... hmmmm the first man perused
this situation's not so unusual
a fix of gross proportions
one of life's heartless distortions

the gent began to lament
how he's sending wife to mother
divorcing within the week
slapping her with lawyer on each cheek

his friend then held up hand to stop
this track of mind which he thought
not a path one should take
in this situation of disgrace

"friend," he said with saddened tone
"you have no witness on your own
just your word against your lover
should you really send her to her mother?

your word against her own
you'll alimony pay through the nose
and half your wealth will be disposed
to this woman of lover spoken

best never again look under her bed
when you come home you should slam
front door hard to make some noise
yell 'Honey I'm Home' loudly in bright tones"

thus, the gent saw sense in this
went home with smile to his sweetness
"Honey I'm home," he loudly declared upon entry
he never again looked under bed or pantry

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