Don'T Let Me Die Without
Don't let me die without writing this first
I'm fighting the hurt
Bleeding with ink, crying with words
Let me write this before I'm lying in dirt
Don't take this as a suicide note, but tomorrow isn't promised
Take it as just another poem I wrote, but even more honest
When it comes to my family, I don't miss them at all
Growing up in foster care, I would wish for a call
Never got one, traveling through the storm, without an arm around me
Battling demons as a youngster, the scars found me
I cried on the page so much that my art drowns me
That was a below average line from me, I should have erased it
I should have spent more time on it and been more creative
But i still hope my loved ones take my Words as kisses and hugs
I was an emotional wreck, and couldn't fulfill your wishes for love
Depression tortured me and forced me into self-loathing
Made to re-open every wound i felt closing
Depression telling me i deserve to Bleed more
Kept my self-harming ways a secret for a year and a half, what would I Speak for?
People talking about the stars i was unable to Reach for
Made it 5 years clean from self-harm, so some of my battles I've won
But when my travels are done
And i come down to my last days
And my heartbeat starts dropping at a fast rate
No longer able to correct my past mistakes
My Mind goes black
Memories being erased
The green line goes flat
I No longer have the energy it takes
The weight of the world removes from my shoulders
Friends reading through my folders
So many rhymes wrote, crying over
Depression, anxiety, heartbreak and being bipolar
I needed saving, but the angels didn't fly closer
You'll see i'm not as strong as you think
My poetry will show where I went wrong with the ink
I apologize to my exes, I shouldn't have put their names in a verse
I should have left them anonymous when I wrote about our pain and the hurt
Rebecca, Zoe, TJ, Stacey, Kirstie, Katie and Chantal I've used your names without permission
If I could go back, I'd write something different
I'm not asking you to forgive or to understand
I hope you all found happiness, because Meg came along and made me a one woman man
Wishing I had enough strength to grasp her hand
Give her a kiss and hug her
Find the strength to tell her I love her
We all have dream girls, but never did I think I'd meet her
Never been scared of death, but I don't want to leave her
If my time comes, please don't cry, read these words and see how much you meant to me
You're the greatest gift that's been sent to me
People die daily, and I don't plan on going
But just in case my time comes, I had to write this poem
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