Don't Go

Don’t Go. On that first day, when I heard what could only be described as thunder from the heavens. I ran to the window and saw you for the first time, you were so tall and a little scary. When you entered my home, I hid behind her hoping you couldn’t see me looking at you with wonder in my eyes. When you saw me and spoke, I buried my face into her like the shy little girl I was, and when I heard your voice for the first time, it was soft and gentle, it filled me with a warmth I hadn’t felt in such a long time. It was so calming that it immediately disarmed me and pushed whatever fears I had away. As it got late all I wanted to say was DON’T GO! But my small little voice remained silent. On that second day, as I looked into your eyes and saw how deep and piercing your blue eyes were. Eyes so blue that the Caribbean Sea would be jealous, wanting its color back. Eyes so caring that I felt as if I could become lost in them. When you took your bandana from your head, I giggled a little and then covered my mouth so you wouldn't see, I was afraid I would make you upset because there was nothing there, but when I saw your smile through your thick beard and with that gentle voice you said Don’t look too the glare might blind you. Right then I want to say DON’T GO! But again, I was still too shy to say what I was feeling. In that first month, I knew I would never have to say DON’T GO! I knew that you would never leave me. You slowly moved into my life filling the emptiness I felt for so long. Every day you showed me how you cared and how much you wanted to be in my life. That first month I felt as if Heaven had moved in the same day, you walked our door. You were so kind, patient, and gentle with us, filling our lives with love like no one has ever done before. That first year I knew you would be with us forever. You accepted your role in my life, knowing that this was where you were supposed to be. Your free spirit covered us with love and I knew that whenever you were close, I was safe from harm this would throw my way. I remember how scared my first boyfriend was when you made sure that with your words, leaving him knowing that I was your little girl and the respect you expected him to show me. That second year it was clear that you are my Daddy. The look of pride and love you gave me when I gave you your new name and the single tear of joy that was in your deep blue eyes said everything. The pride in knowing that you were someone's Daddy. The warmth and strength in the hug you gave me told me no matter what could happen, you would be there giving me the strength I needed and the gentle push in the right direction I needed. That Last Year, it felt as if the wind was stolen from our sails. The thought of you not being in my corner anymore was almost more than I could bear. The thought of losing you broke almost everything that I believed in. As I peered into the night sky, I asked why Heaven had to move so far away from us. Why it had to take someone I held so dear to my heart away with it? Why did you have to leave our happy piece of Heaven, leaving me alone? It felt as if were being cheated out of happiness. Are you looking down on me and on what was such a happy place that made everyone feel safe and happy? Where your presence made so many happy and warm. Where your smile would light up a room with love and happiness. Even though I can still feel your gaze on me, I can only see you in my dreams and memories of the life we once had together. The warm breeze I feel on my cheeks when times are hard is that you letting me know everything will be O.K.? Then I remember the twinkle in your eyes and the warmth of your smile and know that everything will be O.K. because you are still behind me with that loving nudge to go forward and that everything will be O.K. I still ask though “WHY IS HEAVEN SO FAR AWAY? Author? Someone You May Know For HNVP