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Dog Show

The teacher got up on the stage and welcomed one and all We're putting on a dog show and we'll hold it in the hall We're laying on some fizzy drinks and lots of lovely eats And the winner of the dog show gets a great big bag of sweets Now Spud was struggling to survive on breakfast, lunch and dinner He had to nab that bag of sweets, he had to be the winner But one small detail blocked his plan to satiate his greed His own dog was a tatty mutt of some unknown breed Someone told him Franky's dog was la-de-da variety Like the ones that film stars have in la-de-da society If Spud was gonna win those sweets to stay his rumbling gut He'd have to borrow Franky's dog, he'd have to nab that mutt And on the day the show was held and each kid brought their pet Spud was not too bothered that he had no dog as yet He looked around to find his victim, Franky, by the door A vicious looking Doberman behind him paced the floor Spud snuck up on Franky and he growled into his ear I'll have your dog, I'll need its leash, so hand it over here I'm bound to win because your dog is quite an awesome sight But one thing that I need to know is does your posh dog bite? Franky said, I wouldn't bring a mad dog to the show And yet you ask if my dog bites, my dog is trained, so, no Spud grabbed the leash and tried to clip it on the studded collar The dog chomped down on Spud's right arm, which really made him holler Spud's arm was torn and tattered, it was quite a gruesome sight And Spud cried out you must have lied, you said your dog don't bite So Franky stroked a wrinkly dog, which looked more like a frog Then eyed the snarling Doberman... That is not my dog!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2021




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Date: 5/22/2021 10:09:00 PM
G'day Terry ... Spud needed to do a little bit of research before biting instead of ending up getting bit himself. Great finale indeed Terry - Lindsay
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Terry Flood
Date: 5/23/2021 1:12:00 AM
Hi Lindsay. Always liked the ‘that is not my dog’ gag. Not sure why it took so long to ‘pretty’ it up and post it, but I’m glad I finally did. Cheers Lindsay. Terry
Date: 5/22/2021 10:29:00 AM
You vs Lindsay would make quite a contest!
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Terry Flood
Date: 5/22/2021 11:26:00 AM
Thanks Rico, I’m sure there’s plenty of room on that podium. Terry
Date: 5/22/2021 4:23:00 AM
Floods of laughter Terry from this reader. Nothing wrong with turning an old gag into a poem - that takes skill. :) Cheers - gary
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Terry Flood
Date: 5/22/2021 6:40:00 AM
Thanks Gary. With all this woke stuff going about, there’s gonna be a shortage of gags that we can tell. Terry
Date: 5/21/2021 8:37:00 PM
Wonderful...and many great chuckles. Good story, too, Terry.
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Terry Flood
Date: 5/22/2021 6:34:00 AM
Thanks Milt. The old ones are the best ones eh? Terry
Date: 5/21/2021 4:44:00 PM
ha ha ha definitely not a shaggy dog story, thanks for the giggle:-) hugs jan xx
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Terry Flood
Date: 5/21/2021 4:49:00 PM
Thanks Jan. Dug this out of some stuff I wrote yonks ago. Thought I’d give it an airing. Terry
Date: 5/21/2021 4:35:00 PM
hahaha. Great ending!!!
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Terry Flood
Date: 5/21/2021 4:46:00 PM
Thanks Andrea. My version of an old old gag. So I take no credit for the punchline, only the plot and the poem. Terry

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