Dissociation
My body is here, yet I'm not
My thoughts are lost in a distant thought
To a place that's dark and lonely
Where I'm safe from the world's disarray
A place where I can hide and be free
From the chaos and uncertainty
I watch as a mere spectator
To my own life, a mere spectator
It's a strange feeling, you see
To be aware of the present, yet not really be
Floating through existence, in a state of confusion
A coping mechanism, to avoid any illusion
My heart beats faster, but my mind slows down
Everything seems foreign, like an unfamiliar town
The only thing I know for sure
Is that I'm out of range, I can't endure
I try to make sense of what's happening to me
But it's hard to explain, for others to see
The fog that obscures my vision
Making it feel like a difficult mission
I long to feel connected and alive
But dissociation is a barrier, hard to survive
Trapped within these walls, I view my life
But I struggle to break free from this endless strife
Desperately searching for a way out
But I'm stuck in this cycle, filled with doubt
Feeling alone and lost, I can't escape
This dissociative state, a lingering shape
So here I am, my body is present
But my mind is floating, far and distant
Lost in a world of my own creation
Caught in a never-ending dissociative fixation.
Written by starrynight October 2023
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