Disguise

As soon as I attempt to close my tired eyes the visions begin to haunt Restlessly, I toss and turn And the visions continue to taunt I desperately attempt to disguise all of my pain with the illusion of a happy heart But, my sorrow is growing everyday And I am slowly continuing to fall apart My world in which I once lived had vanished into thin air Part of me yearns to find it While the other part of me does not care I live each day consumed with the fear of proceeding accompanied by the fear to not try Standing there as if frozen Running out of excuses as to why I seem to have misplaced the drive which I once held inside of me It has stolen all my hopes and dreams Glancing upon my reflection I no longer recognize what I see I find myself unable to describe this emptiness which cages me like a slave My daydreams are no longer of happy thoughts Instead I find myself daydreaming of my grave I continue to hold onto one thought which soothes me although it is of my dismiss I think of the end A happy place where I no longer have to hide behind a disguise