Phil Capitano Poet Free verse

Disappear

DISAPPEAR
Tremors are the worst,
the full-body shakes
its like my skin is too tight,
my body doesn’t fit,
my life doesn’t fit
the anxiety no one understands
its invisible,
I’m invisible.
“Snap out of it, Shaky”, they say
“You’re just faking it.”
And I want to crawl into a ball and disappear.
Where did my confidence go?
My libido?
So many accomplishments…
I wake up to a new day
but I see the old ways
and no way out.
Can’t write in longhand anymore,
scrawling script is illegible
words fall like a sideways rain
splash all over me
the fears…not good enough
just let me lie here in the dark
and disappear.

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Glen Schwartz July 25, 2017 at 3:24 PM Great Write , It doesn't matter how accomplished you are when you have Anxiety and or depression You are the last to see it.. :)

Matthew Corbin April 15, 2017 at 8:01 AM Must say that one hits home. It reminds me a lot of my own writings as you already knew haha

Rhonda Johnson-Saunders February 23, 2017 at 10:18 PM Wow, I can feel the immense pain and suffering. I suffer from mild to moderate anxiety, myself, but nothing this debilitating. Still, I empathize...congrats on your well deserved placement! Hugs, Rhonda Phil Capitano February 24, 2017 at 7:32 AM Thanks Rhonda, this was posted for Let's Talk About Mental Illness Day in Canada. Thanks for supporting the cause.

Jean Murray February 22, 2017 at 3:05 PM For me it was what I can only describe as ants crawling under my skin. So true it seem invisible because the GP will insist you seem OK. Thank God my attacks have disappeared. Well documented Phil. Phil Capitano February 24, 2017 at 7:28 AM Thank you Jean, anxiety and depression are invisible to those who don't experience them. Peace.

John Hamilton February 21, 2017 at 6:53 PM Great write Phil, felt every word!

Freddie Robinson Jr. February 17, 2017 at 1:13 PM I agree w/Elizabeth. Very brilliant poem, Phil. You bond the reader w/the illness. Very evocative poem, my friend. Love always.

Elizabeth Kinch February 4, 2017 at 11:53 AM Brilliant portrayal of mental illness. So well written.

Damien Schrecengost January 28, 2017 at 3:25 PM Mr Capitano, this is beautiful. I felt this to my core. Phil Capitano January 28, 2017 at 5:46 PM Thanks misery does love company.

Heidi Sands January 25, 2017 at 12:12 PM Wow Phil. So sad and well written description . Phil Capitano January 25, 2017 at 4:09 PM Thanks. This was written for Bell Canada's Let's Talk About Mental Illness Day.