Dining Out In the Windy City

While dining out, in old Chi town just David and the Mrs Brown peruse the menu, ask what's special the waiter says our turkey pretzel The Mrs makes an awful face but Mr says he'd love to taste how could a salted doughy ring not be a perfectly tasty thing? The ring arrives, with side of fries and Mr can't believe his eyes it's kind of green, but he has seen much worse in places he has been He wolfs it down and wipes his face he thinks, not bad for this kind of place but then, he feels a sudden urge a rush of wind that he must purge He waddles through the men's room door and falls upon the grimy floor he crawls avoiding further falls and squirms into the nearest stall At last, he's safe, he thinks at least to finally loose the gassy beast but when he lets the big wind go he finds he's soaked both high and low The ring, the fries, the gravy too they cover him in a film of poo his pants are full, his shirt's a mess what to do's a futile guess He hears a voice and in a yelp he squeaks I could really use some help the voice says I'm the janitor, what can I do for you, dear sir? He tells his tale of windy woe and out the door the janitor goes on his return, he had a hose a towel and some clean dry clothes Brown comes out and looks around he's naked now and feels a clown the janitor then sprays him clean and helps him in his brand new jeans The Mrs asked are you all right? When you crawled off, I had a fright I warned you not to eat that stuff you never listen to me enough Brown looked down, he bit his lip He paid the check and left a tip a tip so large, the cashier gasped she said this question must be asked Was it the food, the ambience, sir? Or maybe t'was the hatcheck girl? I'd like to know, so I can tell others why you think we're swell Brown shook his head, he turned and said I'm lucky now, that I'm not dead your food's the worst that I have had and I have had some really bad Your restaurant's a dirty mess your hatcheck girl could learn to dress Your service, though, it is the best with that, I really am impressed