Dining Out

Tonight my wife proclaimed, "My dear, we are dining out!" I said, "Fine! How about steak and taters or rainbow trout?" "No" she insisted, "I want an exotic Italian dish!" Alas, I lost another tete-a-tete spousal skirmish! We arrived at Luigi's or some such place, And were seated cozily by the glowing fireplace! We proceeded to order our favorite wine, And to that point everything was going fine! The server presented the menu to me. I needed an interpreter I could readily see. The longer the bill of fare that I perused, The more I became addled and confused! Fettuccine Alfredo, Portobello Gratine, Tortelloni; Spezzato Cacciatore, Rigatoni Alla Carpinelli; Linguine Bagutta, Cattaloni Penne Alla Taratina; Tortelloni All Primavera, Scaloppini and Picata! My head was spinning but hardly from the wine. As I tried to figure out upon what I'd like to dine! I summoned the waiter and said, "If you please, I'll have a buffaloburger with onions, pickles and cheese!" Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired © All Rights Reserved