Determination
My hands shake
I am drenched in sweat
I can feel my eyes rolling back
I slip into unconsciousness
I awake
Engulfed in excruciating pain
My body screams
Screams, for a new dose
My cheeks glisten with tears
The reality of what my life has become, is a death sentence
I have to change
I want to change
The rehabilitation centre is hell on earth
But I will fight, until I have nothing left
This is not who I am
And not who I want to be
Months and months of fear
My quality of life is gone
Devoured
By the demons inside me
Each day is pure torture
My physical suffering is immense
But my regrets, are killing me
Slowly
I have replaced myself
With a monster
Destroyed who I really am
But giving up, is not an option
I will fight
Until I am the victor of this war
My desire to change burns inside me
Flames of determination in my eyes
I suffer immensely for my recovery
I rise every time I fall
Becoming stronger than before
Fighting with courage in my heart
I begin to see light in my dark tunnel
I am now in control
Drugs becoming a ghostly shadow of my past
Fading but, never completely disappearing
As I walk away free of these monsters
I know my weakness to addiction still lurks
Deep inside me
But my new found strength and determination will forever overpower it
I am branded with scars
A constant reminder of who I was
But the encouragement
To never return
Copyright © Amy Sullivan | Year Posted 2010
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