Valsa George Poet Triolet

Notes About The Poem

October-20- 2024

Trionet Poetry Form Contest

Sponsor- Emile Pinet

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Desultory Existence

Dry dust rises behind me as I walk
The earth has become a panting sterile desert
Words become incoherent and rattle as I talk
Dry dust rises behind me as I walk
When I try to communicate, people begin to mock
Before reaching my destination, my path I divert
Dry dust rises behind me as I walk
The earth has become a panting sterile desert.

Dry dust rises behind me as I walk
Words become incoherent and rattle as I talk
When I try to communicate, people begin to mock 
Before reaching my destination, my path I divert
The earth has become a panting sterile desert
How my pitiable fate, I can ever avert?

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Jennifer Proxenos October 28, 2024 at 7:32 AM Your Trionet is cleverly created using the desert as a metaphor for an alienated isolation of mankind from life itself and the world - life has become a dry sterile existence, spiraling into a downward trend and man no longer nurtures the nourishment of communication, or understanding. Love this write, good luck in the contest dear Valsa. Hugs and blessings Jennifer.

Andrea Dietrich October 26, 2024 at 1:48 AM Great lines with metaphor. Clever one

Hilda Greenhough October 21, 2024 at 6:42 PM This is sn enjoyable poem in a very different style. I can feel the isolation of being alone in a sterile desert. It is good. I hope you win.

Jay Narain October 21, 2024 at 10:57 AM Nice triolet. Excellent description of a void pain in your dry and sterile desert.

Victor Buhagiar October 21, 2024 at 1:54 AM Your desert is dry and sterile. That is an excellent description of a void plain.

Joseph P. DiMino October 20, 2024 at 3:17 PM Yep, difficult to make meaningful relationships in a world, often times, seeming disconnected and substance less. Yep, ashes to ashes and dust to dust, is a world that has failed to live its greater potential. Interesting poem, my friend. Best of luck in contest.

Silent One October 20, 2024 at 4:06 AM Hey Valsa, great triolet.. I like how your poem explores themes of alienation, failed communication, and existential despair. Through its repetitive structure and stark imagery, it effectively captures the emotional weight of being lost in a world that offers little nourishment or understanding. The barren desert serves as a powerful metaphor for both personal isolation and the harshness of a world that feels indifferent to your struggles.

Sara Kendrick October 20, 2024 at 1:34 AM I haven't really looked at that contest so I don't know all the rules for it, but your work seems seamless so it should be a good contender for the contest. Way to go. Sometimes the road does get dusty, walking gets to be on the same dry places until a rain comes then we have some mud to contend with which can be kind of sticky and maybe even worse than the dust. I don't know maybe they are both the same, each with its own set of problems or complaints. Sara K

Ink Empress October 19, 2024 at 11:56 PM Dear sweet valsa, youve written a very heartfelt and deep triolet. I love the way yours flow and how you’ve written “ When I try to communicate, people begin to mock Before reaching my destination, my path I divert“ sometimes when one is overwhelmed too they tend to feel this way about everything and everyone and i think so many do live a life which lacks enthusiasm and as your title says “ desultory” you can do any form and write on any subject and leave us readers intrigued and connected. Best wishes for the contest. Sending you light always

Maria Williams October 19, 2024 at 11:19 PM Oh what a well formulated lament Valsa. Indeed may that day never come. All the best for your competition. Maria