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Home » Poems » Teddy Kimathi » Desire

Desire

red, cherry lips apart inviting, sensual glow no stop sign glance

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016


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Callus Avatar
Paul Callus
Date: 3/16/2016 9:22:00 AM
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This is an inviting image, Teddy, and makes for a lovely haiku. In the first line the word "red' is surplus since 'cherry' already suggests the colour. Apart from that don't be too strict on syllable count...modern haiku is not tied to the 5-7-5 formation. ~ Regards // paul [ps...you could always have the title reading: Red Desire...]
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Kimathi Avatar
Teddy Kimathi
Date: 1/25/2017 2:25:00 PM
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Greetings Paul. I wish I could get reviews like yours in all my works. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying my work!!! ;-)
A Avatar
Poet Destroyer A
Date: 3/14/2016 11:15:00 PM
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Teddy, CONGRATS on your reddish theme. Luv ~LINDA~
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Teddy Kimathi
Date: 1/25/2017 2:22:00 PM
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Thank you so much Linda, for your warm applause!!! *^_^*
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Vladislav Raven
Date: 3/4/2016 2:51:00 PM
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Hi Teddy, liked the vision in the Haiku. Congratulations in your placement in the contest....Vlad.
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Teddy Kimathi
Date: 3/5/2016 3:45:00 AM
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Thanks Vlad!!! *^_^*
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Andrea Dietrich
Date: 3/3/2016 8:31:00 PM
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Teddy. congrats on this one. I think it is only HM because you did not get the syllables right.
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Teddy Kimathi
Date: 3/3/2016 11:35:00 PM
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Thanks Andrea!!! *^_^* I'll sure watch out next time....
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Eve Roper
Date: 3/3/2016 7:53:00 PM
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Congratulations in the contest "Red" win, Teddy. Hugs dear friend
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Teddy Kimathi
Date: 3/3/2016 11:34:00 PM
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Thank you so much Eve!!! *^_^*
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Nayda Ivette Negron Flores
Date: 3/3/2016 6:50:00 PM
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Congratulations Teddy
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Teddy Kimathi
Date: 3/3/2016 11:33:00 PM
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Thank you Nayda!! *^_^*

Book: Reflection on the Important Things