Home » Poems » Teddy Kimathi » Desire

Desire

red, cherry lips apart
inviting, sensual glow
no stop sign glance

Copyright © Teddy Kimathi | Year Posted 2016

desireimagerylustredrelationshiphaiku

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March 16, 2016 at 9:22 AM

This is an inviting image, Teddy, and makes for a lovely haiku. In the first line the word "red' is surplus since 'cherry' already suggests the colour. Apart from that don't be too strict on syllable count...modern haiku is not tied to the 5-7-5 formation. ~ Regards // paul [ps...you could always have the title reading: Red Desire...]

January 25, 2017 at 2:25 PM

Greetings Paul. I wish I could get reviews like yours in all my works. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying my work!!! ;-)

Poet Destroyer A

March 14, 2016 at 11:15 PM

Teddy, CONGRATS on your reddish theme. Luv ~LINDA~

January 25, 2017 at 2:22 PM

Thank you so much Linda, for your warm applause!!! *^_^*

Vladislav Raven

March 4, 2016 at 2:51 PM

Hi Teddy, liked the vision in the Haiku. Congratulations in your placement in the contest....Vlad.

March 5, 2016 at 3:45 AM

Thanks Vlad!!! *^_^*

Andrea Dietrich

March 3, 2016 at 8:31 PM

Teddy. congrats on this one. I think it is only HM because you did not get the syllables right.

March 3, 2016 at 11:35 PM

Thanks Andrea!!! *^_^* I'll sure watch out next time....

March 3, 2016 at 7:53 PM

Congratulations in the contest "Red" win, Teddy. Hugs dear friend

March 3, 2016 at 11:34 PM

Thank you so much Eve!!! *^_^*

Nayda Ivette Negron Flores

March 3, 2016 at 6:50 PM

Congratulations Teddy

March 3, 2016 at 11:33 PM

Thank you Nayda!! *^_^*

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