Desensitized, Until I Met God

Feeling everything at once, And nothing at all. Numb? Maybe. Just may be the medications, My therapist says, Meditation. The answer, The problem? Is manic depression. Some say disorder, I scream. Obsession. The doctor’s dose me, I obliged, Just because I don’t want to die. Addiction killed my soul, Reprive, Or spiritually die. I just want to be alive. A life. What is a life without drugs and pain? What’s living without suffering? Show me the way, To live and let live. Who is your God? Because, Mine is forgiving. Please, Forgive me. Again and again, I tried to end the pain, Insanity speaks to me. I’m learning To drown it out, The whack of the wheels spinning, My sanity is left spinning. I do and I do, To get absolutely nowhere. Knock, knock, No one’s there, Dissociate the demon, Defiling me, Let me prevail And find inner peace. How when mania continues To feed the insanity in me? Depression is lessened, Didn’t let it destroy me, Not yet, Not ever. Unleash the beast, Bring out the happiness in me. Bring out the purity, Show me faith, In my higher power, In myself, In my sobriety. I seek forgiveness, Seek out and expel The sinner in me. Manifest glory, Manifest positivity, Manifest me. Make me the better version of me, Unmask the beauty. Help me, Please. Give my strength purpose, Show me my worth, Walk the line with me, Single me out And erase my shortcomings. Come to my side, Walk beside me, God. Show me mercy In my recovery. Relapse is no longer an option, I opt out of relapse city, Don’t criticize the addict, Criticize the disease. Behold, The glory, How great it is That that disease never did Manage to destroy me. Thank you God, For having mercy on me Through abuse, addiction and insanity. I thank you on the daily, You’ve never lost faith in me, Forgive me for my honesty, Let me face humility And humble me.