Dental Torture Blues

Sitting in the dental chair Undergoing dental surgery While the dentist probes, And tortures me With his instruments of pain, The Frank Zappa song plays over and over The torture never stops The torture never stops. And I think of the mad dentist In Little House of Horrors The Jack Nicolson character Who screams Pain is good As he assaults his patients Doing root canals Without anesthesia And so I endure the torture Of the dentist In the vain hope I can save my teeth Until the next time I undergo dental torture. The song faces away And I slowly recover. Then as I leave, I am confronted with the bill And the song roars back to life.