Dementia In the Making

I don’t mind what others’ think when we’re together…
It’s not like it’s gonna last forever…

God’s Kingdom come
Before I start growing numb
God’s Kingdom come
Before the beat gets me feeling dumb
God’s Kingdom come
Before I start growing numb
God’s Kingdom come

At least I have a roof over my head…
I sleep in my bed with cheer and dread
I’m on edge because I need Your knowledge
I’m Your sheep – yours truly, Lord of Accord
I’m trying to jump over this misery’s hedge
I hoard these bipolar manias deep inside…the penalty and price I can’t afford
I’m in high debt emotionally
I’m just screwed up mentally
I’m frozen in place…wishing I was free in space
I need His grace…feeling like I’m lost without a trace
Truth is…this is the last time I’m feeling these selfish emotions
I’m taking out the garbage of disgusting, unpleasant notions
I’m in fear, but with you, I’m hopeful
I wish I wasn’t so mopeful…it’s pitiful really
You cut me open with your poison and I bleed rigorously 
It’s unbearable – the joyfulness and anxiety

You’re all that I want…want…
I believe in love on a high level
Your simple words – they haunt
You’re my darling devil…or a beholden angel

I can’t comprehend language as much as you do
I believe that you’re my darling – I know I’ve been moving to and fro,
Wondering when you’re gonna save me from this nightmare I’m in
I’m just trying to make out what I do – I’m such a wreck and too thin
To fit in…to fit in…
Clearly, it doesn’t matter in your actions
I can’t match up to your satisfactions
We have our arguments and our times of peace…
Please, don’t act be a tease…understand that I miss my niece…
She was the best thing ever…
She understood me like no other…

Anyways,
This is the last time I’m gonna complain about our bewildering love
I’m going through one of those days…
But, hey – I need to gain some self-control – forgetting what I thought of
Maybe it’s dementia in the making…
I’ve been hesitating lately…I’m slowly breaking
I’ve been in hospitals six times because of my B.S.
Nothing can undo this mess…unless, God’s right hand makes me this amazing success – 
A successful worker and a talented dancer…
A famous artist and a magnificent singer…

However, God has other plans for me
And, baby, I don’t have time for endless putdowns
I see you inhale and exhale in frustration
Answer me – what is your main motivation?
Silence is the answer…
I’m trying to be utterly constructive
My voice is but a murmur
My mind ain’t gonna be destructive
I don’t want the money, the fame, or the awards that are as priceless as golden crowns
I don’t desire it anymore
No, I don’t no more…
I’ll be loving you some more
This is the last time I’ll change my mind – I will no longer be that attention whore
This is the last time…mhm!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016



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Date: 5/31/2016 2:26:00 AM
enjoyed this one,... ~Linda~
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Earnings Avatar
J.W. Earnings
Date: 6/1/2016 10:33:00 PM
Thank you :) Have a good day!
Date: 5/30/2016 4:20:00 PM
this is quite an interesting poem. I sometimes wonder if we're all like this. keep writing and sharing with us.
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Earnings Avatar
J.W. Earnings
Date: 5/31/2016 2:14:00 AM
:) Thank you very much! I wonder about this too actually! I will keep writing and sharing. That is my pleasure always to serve people with poetry that is from my utmost heart. Have a fantastic day. - J W Earnings
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