Dementia
I’m in this home. THEY put me here
Don’t know the date, don’t know the year
I sit, I think, I reminisce
Of the days gone by, total joy and bliss
But confusion sets in, and I start to panic
Medication wears off, it makes me erratic
Where am I? I don’t know this place
Someone is speaking, I see their face
The one who speaks, I may recognise
Something familiar, something about his eyes
I think he’s not all there, I think he may be mad
Why does he hold my hand? Why does he call me Dad?
They will not leave, they will not go
So I sit in silence, signs of life I will not show
Still they hold my hand and they speak to me
They just wont let go, who can they be?
My mind is addled so confused
My mind feels broken and it feels bruised
I wish my wife was still around
She’d ease my pain, she was so profound
I listen as they mill about
I hear them whisper and I want to shout
What do they want? Why don’t they leave?
I think they are liars, and I disbelieve
I remember times of long ago
But not recent times, as my mind has slowed
Endless summers and times of joy
When I was small, just a little boy
I remember well, my wedding day
A happy memory that’s here to stay
But, it all goes fuzzy and all goes grey
And, I can’t remember even yesterday
They think me mad, they think me senile
They are the ones that are in denial
This mental illness is no joke
I used to be normal, now i'm just smoke
The onset came and it took hold
It ate my mind and it left me cold
Deep inside I try to fight
I push at it with all my might
Some days are good and some quite bad
But either way,when my end comes I’ll be not be sad
My brain has gone, now left this place
I have passed on, the next world I'll embrace
My Mind is back all suspicion gone
My bitterness to them it was so wrong
I don’t blame them now for what they have done
I know them now my daughter and son
They loved me, now I see that clear
They cared for me year after year
Time passed on and I got worse
They needed help and I needed a nurse
But I am no longer there, I have a blessed relief
I’m gone, I don’t want to cause their grief
But, leave I must, no longer a burden
They'll live happy lives of that I’m certain
Make no mistake the illness I have suffered
changed their lives, I would not have recovered
Decline was slow, symptoms hard to see
But it just got worse and it ate at me
I’m in a better place my head now clear
I love you all and I hold you dear
My mind is focused I have full Perception
I shower you in love down from Heaven
Copyright © John Steward | Year Posted 2018
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