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Dementia

I’m in this home. THEY put me here Don’t know the date, don’t know the year I sit, I think, I reminisce Of the days gone by, total joy and bliss But confusion sets in, and I start to panic Medication wears off, it makes me erratic Where am I? I don’t know this place Someone is speaking, I see their face The one who speaks, I may recognise Something familiar, something about his eyes I think he’s not all there, I think he may be mad Why does he hold my hand? Why does he call me Dad? They will not leave, they will not go So I sit in silence, signs of life I will not show Still they hold my hand and they speak to me They just wont let go, who can they be? My mind is addled so confused My mind feels broken and it feels bruised I wish my wife was still around She’d ease my pain, she was so profound I listen as they mill about I hear them whisper and I want to shout What do they want? Why don’t they leave? I think they are liars, and I disbelieve I remember times of long ago But not recent times, as my mind has slowed Endless summers and times of joy When I was small, just a little boy I remember well, my wedding day A happy memory that’s here to stay But, it all goes fuzzy and all goes grey And, I can’t remember even yesterday They think me mad, they think me senile They are the ones that are in denial This mental illness is no joke I used to be normal, now i'm just smoke The onset came and it took hold It ate my mind and it left me cold Deep inside I try to fight I push at it with all my might Some days are good and some quite bad But either way,when my end comes I’ll be not be sad My brain has gone, now left this place I have passed on, the next world I'll embrace My Mind is back all suspicion gone My bitterness to them it was so wrong I don’t blame them now for what they have done I know them now my daughter and son They loved me, now I see that clear They cared for me year after year Time passed on and I got worse They needed help and I needed a nurse But I am no longer there, I have a blessed relief I’m gone, I don’t want to cause their grief But, leave I must, no longer a burden They'll live happy lives of that I’m certain Make no mistake the illness I have suffered changed their lives, I would not have recovered Decline was slow, symptoms hard to see But it just got worse and it ate at me I’m in a better place my head now clear I love you all and I hold you dear My mind is focused I have full Perception I shower you in love down from Heaven

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




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Date: 11/17/2018 8:23:00 AM
Thank you for this amazing poem, capturing every element of Dementia. My dear sister in law has Alzheimer's, such a devastating disease, that is rapidly taken her over and she is just 62! I also put down in words my feelings in 'Alzheimer's I hate you', which I do! Brilliant write John. Kindest thoughts Ann x
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John Steward
Date: 11/17/2018 9:04:00 AM
Hello Ann Thank you for your very kind words and my thoughts go out to you and yours. I did read "Alzheimers I Hate You" and it was a fantastic write Thanks John
Date: 11/5/2018 10:38:00 PM
So hard to watch our loved ones suffer with dementia. My grandfather had Alzheimer's and could remember no one in the end. My mum has just started on medication for her failing memory, so sad. You have captured the confusion the sufferer feels brilliantly in this write.
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John Steward
Date: 11/6/2018 9:22:00 AM
Thank you Elizabeth for your kind comment, and sorry to hear of your grandfather and mother. Thanks John
Date: 11/5/2018 12:15:00 PM
Enjoyed your verse John, it is indeed a devestating condition to have and doesnt just affect the person with it but friends and family as well. Have witnessed it close up. Regards. Tom.
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John Steward
Date: 11/6/2018 9:22:00 AM
Thank you Tom for your kind words I really appreciate them Thanks John

Book: Shattered Sighs