Decoding Life

I have witnessed myself clearing a dozen bottles of alcohol. I have witnessed myself taking overdose of sleeping pills at 3 a. m. in the morning. I have witnessed myself walking along a lonely road, to no particular direction. Frustrations have enveloped my eyes from the future - thought to be bright. Life, as I know it, chooses us, rather than us choosing it. It's the boss; It was here right before us. It chooses when I'll win the next gamble; get a well, derving job; clear all my ever-soaring debts.... It does all that.... On the other hand, I've found some secrets from the mysterious orients - secrets I need to work hard at or practice everyday. "No snowflake falls at the wrong place." "Be like a tree. It never worries when the birds leave their nests, or wait for them to return. It stands firm to the ground. It's never bothered. That's the secret of attaining happiness...." a sage once told me. Time will tell whether I'll pass life's tests.....