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Dear Veronica

How can something be amazing and terrifying at the same time? I have a wife and three kids no, wait that's my imagination running wild I have a girlfriend, my world of a month now but I've chased her for years of 6 She's been twice out of my life and I couldn't let her escape thrice Veronica, my life Veronica, will you be my wife A question for another day Veronica I have many different names for her I call my her my queen, pearl of the stars my Konstantine Veronica Augustine, my Konstantine my Konstantine I could snowball an essay on how beautiful she is the way her hair cascades like a crescent moon falling across her right eye shading the dark side of her hazel eyes She's a total dream to me I reached to the sky plucked her from her home in the stars You could say she's my wish come true yet I sit here on my floor of ocean blue yet I sit here, several shades of grey Terrified I sit here, a silent implosion of fear, of excitement This rush is so real I'm...I'm...scared for my life for my pride How, at such a young, was I ready to give myself up in handcuffs to the presence of love give myself up freely to marriage unafraid of anything full of courage and bravery Now I've grown up from the little boy with dreams I'm corruptable, corrupted, broken at the seams look at me, I'm just scared of everything Marriage, yes I believe I'm ready but I'd be lying if I said I'm going in with all of me Afraid to let go I'm afraid I'm going with leeches attached to my arms I'm going all in with bits and pieces missing for I blew away my brain when I fell flat on my face for two years straight And for four years straight I passed out pieces of my heart to every rusted pearl for I thought I could make them shine bring them back to life So while they were back to beauty in return I develop scars, I develop rust Now look at me I'm no saint, no angel I'm not a boy, not a man I'm not magnificent I'm only a dream to Veronica Veronica, what do you see in me Veronica Augustine, my Konstantine what on earth do you see in me Sarah, she still has a piece of me Juliet, she still carries a piece of me but Konstantine, you have all of me so don't fret, just listen please I was born a child headphones were upon my ears when I came out I lived a fighter for I fight everyday of my life to live in a world I tried to take myself out of since those disasters in 5th grade and time after time I've taken my own life in poetry poetic suicide But Veronica Dear Veronica You have single handedly resurrected me yet still in my new found sense of happy I'm still wrapped in misery I'm miserable at best Veronica Veronica Augustine My dear Veronica My Konstantine Please break the haze of the cloud that hinders me Miles separate us but you're within my dreams and all I want to do is lay beside you bury my hands in your hair while staring into the galaxies trapped in your eyes whisper I love you for the ride as your chin finds its place upon my chest where the 'S' should be though there is only an 'N' I'm nothing, nobody, no one I'm just a dot compared to the sun compared to the Son yet Veronica, dear Veronica You place me on a throne far off the ground please bring me back down I'm afraid of heights I'm afraid you'll get tired of me so easily These years of six I wouldn't trade for the world but why would you want to spend an eternity with a lost narcissist in the shape of a lonely boy You claim I'm perfect but I could mail you a list of my flaws Are you getting what I'm saying I'm scared to death that the throne you place upon me will torch and burn right under me will collapse under my fragile weight by the daggers and stones I could throw into your house of brick at your mansion of happiness I'm corruptable, corrupted, I'm miserable at best Veronica Veronica Augustine, Konstantine my queen, my pearl of the stars I love you more than my perch at my park I am the moon and you are my star I just don't want you to be so wrapped up in me and then I find the weak spot under your heart take an arrow and stab my way in Marriage, how was I ready to give myself to you in handcuffs, in freedom so ready, so willingly Now I'm a man, a transformation of the boy I used to be and I'm just justly justifiably scared of everything for how can everything be amazing and utterly and unfortunately and undoubtedly terrifying Utterly Terrifying Veronica Veronica Augustine Veronica, my Konstantine.... if I asked you today would you still marry me...

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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