Dear Nephew

Always wanting something. You make such demands of me. Why me? Why not the guy over the road? Or the gal in the bar? It’s always me isn’t it? You want me to pay for your new dog. And then pay for you to learn to drive. Never mind the cost of your pecker transplant. To the top of your head. I’d pay for all of this and more. That was before. It all stopped when I caught you with my sister. You were shafting her and took her salt. Ok she had you at gunpoint. And you had no choice. But I still blame you. And cut off your funding. But you just don’t get it. I will not pay for your wants. Go and get a job or rob a bank. Or deal drugs and get shot by the cops. Then you do me a big favour. You cease to exist and are gone kaput dead. Then I can live in peace. But more importantly I get rich. I can spend your insurance. So go and get shot and make me rich. And leave me in peace. In fact I’ll set you up. Then you’ll defo be gone. Goodbye dear nephew. Soon you’ll disappear. And I’ll take a vacation. Head for the hills. They won’t catch me there.