Dear Depressed

Dear Depressed, you’re the cuckoo who flew
From the cuckoo’s nest. Go get a clue!
You are  too hot to trot
For a guy who has got
Not a semblance of interest in you.

He won’t call you back? Here’s the buzz:
He does NOT pick his phone up because
well, for one thing, you see,
you act more desperately
than a crack head who wants a fix does!

And that woman who answers his phone,
and she tells you to leave them alone -
It’s his sister, you say??
You are queen for the day.
Go sit on the idiot throne!

You’ve got kids from different guys.
Better think before spreading your thighs.
You feel nauseous and sick?
Well, I think that some dick
has got you again with his lies.

I would offer advice, but I can’t,
for all I can do now is rant!
Just be thankful you’ll get 
A more sizeable check
from the welfare. . . . Love, Agony Aunt.


A response poem to the letter written to
Agony Aunt (see the contest pages)
Copyright © | Year Posted 2014

Poem

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12
Babcock Avatar
May 14, 2014 at 10:37 PM
This hits it right on the head. Had me smiling with this poem. love phyl
Marcum Wong Avatar
April 9, 2014 at 8:54 PM
This had me laughing. You are so great at giving the Contests your ALL! I know I will always see your name at the top of the lists. Great win Andrea. Congrats!
A. Sharma Avatar
April 5, 2014 at 2:05 AM
Wonderful and intelligent write Andrea ! Well deserved top win !! Congratulations!!
Onclaud Avatar
April 4, 2014 at 11:17 PM
sweet kudos on your award , andie.. frank and well scribed!.. huggs
A  Avatar
April 3, 2014 at 10:09 PM
Andrea, congrats on your AWESOME win. .. Luv ~SKAT~
A   Avatar
April 3, 2014 at 12:02 PM
LOL, Andrea.... I knew this was gonna take the number one spot... :) Congratulations, the poem's awesome. Enjoyed your vice.... luv LINDA
Callus Avatar
April 3, 2014 at 10:34 AM
What a good witty write Andrea! Much enjoyed. // congrats on win. // paul
Stephens Avatar
April 3, 2014 at 4:22 AM
Hi Andrea, Congrats on your bitingly witty win. Go girl!. All the best Theresa xx
A  Avatar
March 5, 2014 at 10:47 PM
Andrea, are the winners out yet.... This one was awesomely good..... SKAT
Austin Avatar
February 28, 2014 at 8:58 AM
What a kick! You are amazing. I've tried to write a limerick and failed miserably. Love 'em. Love, daver
That Archaic Poet Avatar
February 19, 2014 at 12:30 PM
This is great; loved it. Funny, witty, clever; very well-executed. Good luck in the contest; I'm sure you'll do well :)
Jones Avatar
February 17, 2014 at 6:24 PM
Ahh Andrea I'm still laughing...thank you...
Anish Avatar
February 17, 2014 at 3:49 PM
Some women are just not savvy in their life choices. You spell this out well. I was on a double date that evening. I had a pretty good time! Over my 58 years a number of women have wanted to marry me - I was always fearful. I do enjoy writing verse and sometimes teaching ESL. I hope your man got you a nice gift for the holiday. Peace & Love Matthew Anish
Horsch Avatar
February 17, 2014 at 11:55 AM
Another wonderful poem by the great wonderful poet Andrea, You are a great writer to me. Keep writing....Hug.....Roger
Van Breda Avatar
February 17, 2014 at 9:11 AM
Really clever and humorous write :) :) Enjoyed the sarcastic undertone too.
Watson Avatar
February 16, 2014 at 3:40 AM
Is Simon Cowell your brother , lol Wow, I'm taken aback , A very strong poem . Blunt and to the point . Harsh but brilliant .
Carrillo Avatar
February 15, 2014 at 4:13 PM
WOW! This is good and to the point. Why sugar coat it - tell it like it is. If this is for a contest - I know it will win.... Lucilla
Bolton Avatar
February 15, 2014 at 7:54 AM
Whoa!!! And WoW! Love this not so subtle in yer face poem. I don't do contest, but I have a feeling this is a winner.
Devnath  Avatar
February 15, 2014 at 6:48 AM
I don't know about the fact but I feel you have given reply as agony aunt here nicely. Answer in poem of questions in poem, done well. Loved always, my lovely friend, bl
Eggins Avatar
February 15, 2014 at 5:42 AM
Andrea. In answer to your question you met me here when I started about 4-5yrs ago I have been here on and off but I think I am settled now ;) I am back to stay lol, NOW on to the poem its a cracker of a rant !! I absolutely loved it big smile to my chagrin I found myself laughing out loud :P well done 7 from me well written ;) love Jayne xxx
Ryerson Avatar
February 14, 2014 at 6:48 PM
Good stuff! Glad you took the bawdy approach like me...Maybe I can ride your coat-tails to at least an honorable mention? You're the best my friend...
Ryerson Avatar
February 14, 2014 at 6:52 PM
By the way, I hope you have VERY sturdy and strong coat-tails. I weigh 180 lbs you know...
Lamoureux Avatar
February 14, 2014 at 6:31 PM
a clever endeavor, she may have been better sleeping with a Trevor. Instead she found a Dick who turned out to be a prick in the end became morning sick. She would have been better off if she gave him him to another chick.
Johnson Avatar
February 15, 2014 at 10:19 PM
Love your comment Rick. She didn't have the choice. Peace. :)
A   Avatar
February 14, 2014 at 1:44 PM
Wow... lol.. Wow.... Andrea, I like how you pulled this one off. I wish I was in a writing mood, cause I'd sure have the answers to her letter... Happy Valentines Day... Linda
A   Avatar
February 14, 2014 at 11:25 PM
Hey Andrea, I watched TV, almost 40 percent of my day. I'm I getting old or what? Goodnight...
Johnson Avatar
February 14, 2014 at 11:32 AM
I am a bit shocked at how this poem rocked. I could barely continue to read. Your advice to the lovelorn sounds a little bit like porn. :):):) Each stanza your heart didn't bleed. I enjoyed your little limey, even though a bit slimey, But I agree, she should refrain, indeed. Note: When I said I could barely continue to read, it was because I couldn't stop laughing. Peace. :)
Williams Avatar
February 14, 2014 at 4:07 AM
Andrea ha I love this, all agony aunts should be like this this....David
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