Dear Asia, Letter From Grandpa

Dear Asia. I was awakened in the middle of the night with you on my mind. By the time the clock struck 12:40 AM, the tears had already appeared. Before I could wipe those wet-drops away, three words gushed from the depths of my heart and lay siege to my mind. I lay there for a good while until I knew that this heartfelt emotion had to be recorded and shared with you while it was fresh in my spirit. Without any utterings from my lips, my heart was clearly saying, "I'm sorry, Asia". I was feeling your pain, a pain that must have evaded me 2 years ago. Two years ago, I think that I was overwhelmed with the pain I was feeling about losing my little granddaughter. You were spreading your wings in directions that terrified me. I was sorry because I wasn't prepared to see you through your growing pains. I think that I became afraid of what I could no longer influence. Papa Girl was the only you That I knew, and when I no longer saw her, I became angry and weak, unable to see you through your hard times that you considered to be your good times. I felt shut out of your life, and I didn't know how to keep knocking at the door of a grown-up young lady who had a mind of her own. You were no longer the Papa Girl whom I once knew and took to school for 12 years and more. I'm sorry, Asia, for being weak when you needed me to be strong enough, understanding enough, and flexible enough to acquaint myself with the grown-up you. I'm sorry for not being accepting and loving enough to let go. Again, I'm sorry Asia. Please forgive me. Grandpa.