Deals With Devil, Deals With Myself
I used to believe that to fully be alive
You had to be on the edge
On the verge
On the run
I thought the only authenticity
Came from breaking all the rules
The only way to be true to myself
Was to live beyond the law
I thought the only deals to make
Were ones with the devil himself
I pitied the people around me
With steady jobs
Steady love
Steady lives
I believed them shackled by monotony
Imprisoned by the mundane
I shuddered at the thought
Of rules, schedules, routines
But the older I got
The more time I spent
Alone in this state of mind
Until I slowly came to see
That I was living on an edge
That was sharp enough to cut me
And once it did
I was going to bleed to death
In a pool of my own broken promises
So I made a deal with myself
Finish a few things you've started
Break a few less laws
Let your sober days stretch longer
Give yourself time to breath
And simply see how you like it
So I did
And at first I felt trapped
Held down by responsibility
Drowining in real life
But over time I began to appreciate the small
The easy pleasure found in the simple
The joy of a quieter life
And I realized that I could live this way
And to my shock I already was
And it hasn't killed me yet
So I guess for now it's working
Copyright © Jesse Andrews | Year Posted 2010
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