Dead Inside

Dead inside Growing up in a home with little love and a mother who distanced herself and always felt she had to push me away. No hugs or kisses or tucked in at night...….just shut up or go outside and play. Then the awkwardness of getting nubs for breast and being watched by step dad number three. Wondering what in the world I could be doing wrong? Thinking there has got to be something wrong with me! I wanted attention and love but not in this way but also knowing that mother will never believe me over him. So I continue to let him and keep my mouth shut- Constantly feeling as if I'm living in sin. So as the days turn into weeks and the weeks soon turn into years. My beautiful heart gets colder with time...… And my eyes have begun to shed their last tears. What its like to be dead inside...… I hope and pray that you never do see. For I wouldn't wish anyone the hell that I endured as a child. I would never wish on you what happened to ME!!!!!!