Darling I Am An Theatrical Actor Dont You Know

I lurch and crawl from Bar to Bar As most of all regulars and barkeep alike Unfortunately can vouch and attest for As i am well known or shall I say infamous Far and wide in these establishment Some have gone so far as to Take turns or placing a watch out So they have time to hide or run away Rather than having been forced to listen to me Regale stories and forms of poetry With a booming voice best suited For a outdoor amphitheater performance Or town crier Draped accordingly in gown and hat Cane walking stick merely used as a prop Performing everywhere he goes Unfortunately most of time sadly uninvited And if given the choice most publicans Would Bar Because he chases more customers away Than end up wishing or wanting to stay And worst of all he doesn't even Buy a drink himself He expects the other customers to And when or if they eventually do He then also says Well go on then May as well make mine a Double And don't try and fob me off With the cheap stuff I am accustomed To the finer things in life And have expensive taste I will have you know And as since you are footing the bill and paying I'll also have 1 to take away as well