Darkness - First Half

It consumes her. The darkness. She wants to leave it behind, but she doesn't. It defines her. Without it, who is she? What is she? It brings her soul to life. Without it, would she ever feel again? Isn't it much better to live in a sea of misery than an atom-less world of nothingness? How can she live a life of bliss if she's too afraid to leave it behind? She is the only thing standing between her and happiness. Not depression, nor anxiety, nor any external voices or forces. Her. But how can she leave so much of her identity, of who she is, behind? She finally feels alive again. Is "happiness" worth the risk of losing that? She feels that either way leads to her demise. If she stays in the darkness, she can't survive much longer. She's weakened day after day, losing more and more of her will to fight it. If she leaves the darkness in pursuit of bliss, her heart may be beating, but will her soul survive? Or will she go right back to a nonexistent existence? A body wandering aimlessly without a soul? All because she stopped clinging to the one thing that gave her life? As for the third option, if she succeeds in the pursuit of happiness, will she still be the person she wants to be? Will she still feel the pain of others and seek to give them light and support? Will she still think as deeply about the world around her? Or would she become blissfully ignorant? You need both pain and joy in life to feel alive, but she's never been one to trek the middle ground, it's all or nothing. The question is, which path does she wish to take... her life is in no-one's hands but her own. She may have been shaped by the people in her life, but she is not, and will not, be a victim of circumstance. She will not blame the present on the past, nor let herself be defined by the world around her. The question is how she chooses to define herself. Is a life full of depression and anxiety worth it to feel alive? It seems as if she dies regardless of the path she chooses.