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Dark Sentiments

I thought of you with love today,
But that is nothing new
Because  I thought about you yesterday
And days before that too.
I think of you in silence
And often speak your name in my sleep
But you never notice though you sleep next to me.

Seven billion smiles around but yours is my favourite.
Your smile leaves me defenseless
But I never told you because you think I hate women.
I have been drawing zigs and zags on a sentimental notepad 
Of unchecked emotions and mismanaged feelings.
My dark thoughts of horror nights on the red couch told me
To press mute on feelings and see how loud hurt sounds.

I am slowly becoming a violin with broken strings.
Each time they strike my chords the song is how beautiful you are,
But I am running out of words so I end up groaning in discord.
Your personality is a cast of characters unseen even in a mystery movie.
It is a collaboration of sanity and hurt;
Requiring the most careful focus on details if you are to understand.
Agnes, you are turning into a bad and dark thought I wish I never had.

You are a work of art; 
I am not the first to say.
You are as beautiful as a Victorian orchestra symphony.
The gently formed and polished image when you stand 
Is as unique as the perfect hands that assembled you.
You are a form of molten fire that erupts like a volcano
Each time my thoughts meet you in Dreamland.

Wired to the present reality,
You are Mary and I am Joseph.
We could make the messiah 
But since nothing happens that first time,
We will make a James.
It would be a knotty outcome –
And truly I will love you much more deeply than I dare try to express.

Agnes, Maria was my crime,
You are my sentence.

Ace of Spades

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