Dapper Drac
Dapper Drac had a panic attack, and topping off the dread
His trendy boots clashed with his suit, plus his white shirt was stained red
Sure his hair was right, and dynamite, as seen in the mirror
Yet to dress, without finesse, in his book, was a vile error
What could Drac say, about the way, that he enjoyed to prepare
He prized his pale, but added details, for which he had a flair
Our blood sucker, gets so tuckered, whenever flying en masse
Therefore he’s known, for going alone, and only flies first class
This genteel bat, donning a cravat, is such a sight to see
But Dapper’s comport, is his true forte, of which most can agree
Though vamps are scary, Dap was wary, as he wandered the globe
So as not, like his dad got, a fatal immortal microbe.
His prey, they say, may have a disease much too hard to pronounce
That strikes to the core, and even more, is deadly to all counts
To lessen that chance, Dap tried in advance, to take precautions
Filling his pack, for the attack, with sterilization rations
Including scads, of alcohol pads, in case someone he bit
Was quite trashed, coz in days past, after sucking he had to spit
Then he applies band aides, as blockades, to hold back the dribbling
Since dry cleaning rates, have of late, increased more than a piddling
There’s no doubt, that when Dap goes out, his wicked breath is serene
This fiend by trade, won’t ambuscade, without using Listerine
Now while there’s a chance, let’s take a glance, inside his habitat
Noting his bed, built for the dead, is too refined for a bat
In all honesty, this oddity sleeps on a firm box spring
And irons his sheets, so his retreats, would even please a king
Inside Dap’s room, there’s no hint of gloom, mostly it’s clean and fresh
‘Cept his potpourri, for which he’s sorry, is the smell of flesh
On that fateful night, so full of fright, Dapper didn’t look smart
He felt like a sleaze, and this unease, made him afraid to start
Yet the grand ball, each time his downfall, with genteel folk galore
Since was letting out, Dapper went out, to get whom he adored
As no one could see, that bat in Gucci, hovering in place
Dap could select, the loveliest neck, at his own fussy pace
Since his model, was being coddled, by an adversary
Dap sought a weapon, but only beckoned, his new Blackberry
He turned full size, to claim his prize, but his Gucci seemed Eeyore
Next her guy, so easy on the eye, in his tailored Dior.
The fight wasn’t fair, coz Dapper just stared, at his handsome foe
But Dap’s muscles, needed corpuscles, so he choose a lesser doe
Dap Drac learned his lesson, by now dress’en, in finer attire
Yet be afraid, next time you’re waylaid, by the best dressed vampire
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