Dangerous Questions

By Elton Camp Some questions have no way to win Be cautious if you answer such again When the wife asks, “Do I look fat?” Either “Yes” or “No” will bring combat But if you say, “You look just right,” It’s possible you can avoid a fight A direct answer is usually not wise The circumstances you must apprise “What is it that you’re thinking about?” If, “Nothing,” it’s a dark secret no doubt “Are you really going to wear that shirt?” “I put it on, didn’t I?” is a lot too curt “How do you like my new hairdo?” Lavishly praise or you surely will rue Don’t even consider saying, “It’s fine” That you really dislike, it’ll be the sign If she asks, “Do you want me to drive?” Don’t say, “No, I’d rather get there alive.” “Which of these paints do you like best?” The one she prefers, you hope you guessed To the suspicious, “What did I just say?” You’re caught. To win, there’s no way