Shaunda Lindsay | + Follow Poet |
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Daddy's Dime

I was three the first time i remember 
seeing mamas bedroom walls 
springtime colors on her quilt 
Though it really could of been December 

I don't remember much at all 
I have to thank god for that 
except for his soft footsteps down the hall 
not Gods cause he was still asleep 
I didn't know enough to be afraid,  YET 

He came in the room, that's when I still loved him 
then I was on the bed, daddy loves you 
daddy saying shh shh, don't talk 
we're hiding from mama, I giggled 

and then the pain, stop it shaunda, be quiet 
be a quiet girl and I'll give you a dime 
I didn't like it one bit or the sounds either 
I turned my head and saw mamas messy shoes in her closet 

I loved mamas shoes and I always put them in a row 
in her closet nice and neat 
she always gave me a nickel and said very good Shaunda 
that's  when I still loved her 
and she still loved me 


I watched the shoes through the pain thinking 
when daddies done I'm gonna straighten those shoes 
all in a row so mama will give me a nickel 
and why do dimes hurt so bad 
 

All this running through my head laying on her bed 
while the sounds and the pain intermingle 
in my body and mind while wondering 
why Karrie gets to go to school 
and why oh why can't I be five too 

Ahh. The joy of childhood memories uncensored

Copyright © Shaunda Lindsay | Year Posted 2016

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Debbie Duncan Date: 7/20/2016 2:33:00 AM Very nicely done, I was 4. I used to think it was because I wouldn't call him daddy " child's mind". He came to my mom's house when I was 13 to say he had cancer. I said " rot in hell" and walked away. Mom ask me why did I say that? ,,,,,, That's all I'm saying about that. writing is a way to let some thoughts go ! Login to Reply Shaunda Lindsay Date: 7/22/2016 5:53:00 AM I used to think I was all alone in what happened to me. Not anymore. I think there are way more of us kids the bad things happened to then there are the kids who got to grow up normally. Thanx so much for the great comment. Debbie Duncan Date: 7/20/2016 2:49:00 AM There's a movie called Bastard Out of Carolina, on this subject.

Poet Destroyer A Date: 3/25/2016 6:53:00 AM Shaunda, you sure know how to touch the emotions and anger in others. I can't express myself here, but I was 4 years old once left with my freaking cusin. School was my escape when I was five. Love Linda Login to Reply Shaunda Lindsay Date: 3/25/2016 3:09:00 PM Glad you put him away.. I tried to put my father away but there was a statue of limitations dating back to the first time you remembered and then you had 7 years from that time to get them in trouble. By the way. The poem was 'PLEASE'.. it reminded me exactly how I always felt about my self. Unworthy of anything. Poet Destroyer A Date: 3/25/2016 7:02:00 AM Maybe that explains all my OCD's and my hate to share anything with my man. I wonder what poem you read of mine, that you can relate too... Probably the teddy bear poem. Anyways, the cousin of mine is in prison for 15 years. The best thing I did for humanity was helping to lock him away. Love Linda Shaunda Lindsay Date: 3/25/2016 6:58:00 AM I swear I read a poem of yours and it sounded just like my life. It's sad these are our first memories. In another like we would have been twins.. school was my escape too. How dare the people do this to the little babies we were. How are we supposed to grow up normal? Thank you so much hun.

Winged Warrior Date: 3/20/2016 6:03:00 PM My child you carry a heavy cross...may a thousand Angels descend and comfort your wounded heart...god bless...your friend...(:^WW^:) Login to Reply Shaunda Lindsay Date: 3/20/2016 8:47:00 PM Why thank you dear...I made my way out and have a good life now..

Elizabeth Alexander Date: 3/18/2016 3:49:00 PM my lovely sister, I am aware this was many years ago ,and you can now talk about it, with reason now, but , I still cried for that little girl .I hope my tears can ease the pain of the memory(even just a little). sending you my LOVE SISTER. Elizabeth.xxx Login to Reply Shaunda Lindsay Date: 3/18/2016 3:54:00 PM Awww thank you hun. I guess someone needed to cry for me, right? I know I wasn't allowed to when I was growing up. It's so nice to know what happened to me does matter. thanks dear.. xxxShaunda