Cyclic Anxiety

The wounds split open My sight goes black Agonizing, terrifying, panicked This darkness So thick Like cascading velvet Almost beautiful at first in it’s deception For my eyes were shut so tightly I hadn’t seen it falling upon me Enveloping me in it’s unbearable grasp Leaving me reaching, searching in every direction But yet I still won’t open my eyes I still won’t take a breath Because if I were to open my eyes Surely the sight before me would be no different Than no sight at all No sight other than The vision projected on the innards of my eyelids That skewed perception of reality Or is it skewed? Every moment pulls me in deeper I sink into the impenetrable darkness All that is felt is the hot panic coursing through my veins Panic that thickens with every moment Only to be rivaled by the dread Oh, the dread! It grows and multiplies And the hopelessness is inevitable I writhe, I kick, and this suffering Spilling out upon my sheets I’ll stain them with my tears With my blood With my endless sorrows My endless pain And in the morning when they come for me They’ll see nothing but my puffy eyelids That gauntness emanating from my being Frizzy hair, sloppy clothes, ugly. But that filthy smile is plastered on my sallow face And everything is okay The sheets are clean, the pillows are dry My wounds are inexistent Invisible to the eye And as I open my eyes, so is she. Until tomorrow night, until tomorrow night.