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Notes About The Poem

Alexandrine: UPDATE 07-30-24 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Hilo Poet

Crying In Shame

Natural

I like the feel of rain, a mix of hope and pain. As the drops sting my face, I start slowing my pace. Nature understands me and my reality. Raindrops are not gentle tears but more liquid spears. And I lose myself in that hurt, my mind inert. Betrayal broke my heart, and my dreams fell apart. To filter love from lust, my hopes relied on trust. Now, nothing feels the same, and I’m crying in shame. The rain helps to conceal my tears and calm my fears.


Visual

I like the feel of rain;
a mix of hope and pain.
As the drops sting my face,
I start slowing my pace;
Nature understands me
and my reality.
7-Raindrops are not gentle tears,
5-but more liquid spears.
8-And I lose myself in that hurt
4-my mind inert.
Betrayal broke my heart
and my dreams fell apart.
To filter love from lust,
my hopes relied on trust.
Now, nothing feels the same;
and I’m crying in shame.
8-The rain helps to conceal my tears
4-and calm my fears.

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Linda Alice Fowler Date: 8/8/2024 1:48:00 PM Wow my friend. This is a truly a treat to read and has stunning appeal in Natural and Visual form. The emotions expressed flow so effortlessly and rhyme without being forced. Very nice! :) Login to Reply Emile Pinet Date: 8/8/2024 2:15:00 PM Thanks, Linda, I welcome and appreciate your comments; you have brought a ray of sunshine to my day, my friend. Emile.

Christine Phillips Date: 8/3/2024 8:42:00 AM My dear Emile such a beautiful rhyming poem, yet resonate deep heartfelt feelings with intense feeling, strong emotions at play here and nice use of the dramatic fallacies where your natural emotions was in harmony with the natural environment ...while you were crying it was raining. Login to Reply Emile Pinet Date: 8/3/2024 11:19:00 AM Thank you so much, Christine. I appreciate and welcome your comments, my friend; you honor me. Emile.

Ink Empress Date: 8/3/2024 8:19:00 AM This flows so seamlessly dear Emile, i love the way youv written this. About rain and i can resonate with this feeling. Especially your opening lines. Brilliant! Best wishes for the contest. Sending you light Login to Reply Emile Pinet Date: 8/3/2024 11:22:00 AM Thanks, Ink Empress. You have never failed to lift my spirits with your encouraging comments, my friend, and this is no exception. Emile.