Carolyn Devonshire Poet Limerick

Crumb On My Pie Chart

Abusive soul who tormented my heart
I didn’t wait for us to drift apart
     I found inner strength at last
     So don’t look at me aghast
You’re merely a crumb on my heart’s pie chart

A defumigator removed your scent
Into the trash all your hunting boots went
     And those ghastly deer “trophies”
     Ablaze with your spoiled green cheese
Your firearms too in the bonfire were sent

Valentine, let me give it to you straight
Goodwill came by for the very last crate
     Maker’s Mark* for the homeless
     Now that’s ironic justice
Hope your new home in the tent is just great

You wrecked my car and destroyed my credit
So you got off easy from where I sit
     Not that you had much to lose
     Just hair, weight, someone to use
Cupid aims, may your hemorrhoids get hit!



*Maker’s Mark is expensive whiskey
Entry for Sidney~Lee Ann’s valentine to an ex-lover contest
Written January 17, 2012

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Carol Sunshine Brown April 16, 2012 at 11:20 AM Congratulations on your well deserved win in Sidney~LeeAnn's "A Valentine Limerick" contest Carolyn. Love, Carol

Cecilia Macfarlane April 14, 2012 at 9:56 AM Awesome well written limerick Carolyn! This one is going to my faves...congrats on your win!

Deborah Burch April 14, 2012 at 6:54 AM LOL...too funny...Congrats on your win Carolyn! big hugs...hope you have a wonderful time in the Keys and 'fishing'...I may do that myself later this year ;) Big Hugs,love deb

Linda-Marie Sweetheart April 13, 2012 at 10:32 PM congrats on another wonderful win Carolyn ..luv..

Jack Horne January 20, 2012 at 3:49 PM LOL, I'm still chuckling about the last line

Daver Austin January 19, 2012 at 1:43 PM First rate hate! Hey! You geeva eet to heem! Bravo. I love the tongue in cheek humor here. Love, daver

Harry Horsman January 18, 2012 at 8:51 AM love these, very humourous, again i detect a serious message here. maybe it's my whiskey i'm drinking as i read your wonderful work. harry

Kash Poet January 18, 2012 at 1:33 AM An excellent Limerick showcasing your brilliancy and poetic ability.Love that Heart's Pie chart very much.Best wishes.

Andrea Dietrich January 17, 2012 at 8:23 PM haha. it got funnier and funnier as it went along. Loved the line "new home in the tent" and great finishing stanza, Carolyn. I know this will do well in the contest.

Russell Sivey January 17, 2012 at 3:56 PM Ooooo the last line, talk about vindictive, woo-hoo! I can sense all the pain you were experiencing throughout the poem! Maker's Mark, whooo! Now that's some strong stuff right there...not that I actually know from experience! Great write Carolyn, Awesome Work!!

Liz Walsh January 17, 2012 at 11:47 AM 'May your hemorrhoids get hit ! oh the pain - I enjoyed this, Carolyn.