Critterature: A Prickly Situation

Old joke: How do porkypines mate? Very carefully.


The porcupine's a modest
And mostly solitary beast,
Akin to capybara and to beaver,
Though in size he is the least.
He rarely gets invited
To a bar-b-que or feast,
But long as he's not on the menu,
He doesn't mind it in the least.

He'll never write his memoirs,
Although of stories there's no lack,
But penmanship's beyond him,
He just doesn't have the knack.
And though he ports around a vast array
Of sharpened quills upon his back,
There's not one that's fit for writing
In all the clicking, clacking pack.

When "she" sends forth her pheromones,
And "he" rises to the bait,
Safe sex is uppermost in mind
As he advances to the plate.
His approach must be well-timed, precise,
Lest she shish-kabob her mate.
If it's not done right the first time…
There won't be a second date.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2024

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Bowring Avatar
January 29, 2024 at 11:28 PM
Such a sweet, fun read Jim. Very well written. ‘ of sharpened quills upon his back, there’s not one fit for writing’- love these lines. So clever! An enjoyable verse to read. Thank you for sharing. Blessings and smiles :):)
Slaughter Avatar
January 30, 2024 at 10:30 AM
Christina, thank you.
Delaney Avatar
January 27, 2024 at 4:30 PM
Jim: This is so much fun. Love the critterature concept. Brilliant. SuZ
Slaughter Avatar
January 28, 2024 at 10:24 AM
Thanks, SuZ...I'm glad you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them.
Bauer Avatar
January 27, 2024 at 1:05 PM
hilarious and beautifully written, jim! your rhyme and rhythm are suberb!
Slaughter Avatar
January 28, 2024 at 10:25 AM
Thank you, Ilene...your comments are likewise.
One Avatar
January 27, 2024 at 11:44 AM
You have a unique and wonderful sense of humour my friend...
Slaughter Avatar
January 28, 2024 at 10:25 AM
Thanks, S O...just channeling my "Ogden".
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