Crazy Thoughts No 5

It's been estimated that at any one time
One per cent of the world is drunk
Actually thought it'd be a whole lot higher
My friends are always drunk as a skunk

World's shortest man was 20 inches tall
Had to have his Jockeys specially made
Wives want more sex in their romance novels 
Guys have got it made in the shade

Half of Americans over age fifty-five
No longer possess their own choppers
Be careful if you get into a fight with one
They'll gum you to death right proper

In a average lifetime, humans usually eat
About sixty thousand pounds of food
That's equal to the weight of six elephants
Or 300 people in the nude

The average person walks the equivalent
Of twice round the world 'fore they die
No wonder we all feel so totally run down
Pretty amazing between you and I

© Jack Ellison 2012
Copyright © | Year Posted 2012

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Breidenthal Avatar
September 14, 2020 at 9:27 PM
Keep those crazy thoughts cooking! Always, Laura
Ellison Avatar
September 15, 2020 at 6:55 AM
They're on high sweet Laura! XOX
Gooden Avatar
November 17, 2012 at 7:40 PM
Jack, now I know!
Ellison Avatar
November 17, 2012 at 8:40 PM
Happy I was able to pass along this vital information, Sherese! LOL Big hugs, Jack xox
Eastman Avatar
November 16, 2012 at 9:52 PM
LOL... You sure have an unusual way of seeing things... PS .I wrote.a poem 'Biker Dude' for my Dad. He thought it sounded more like my brother... LOL
Ellison Avatar
November 17, 2012 at 5:10 AM
Yup! Some say my humour is a wee bit strange! Always been considered a bit off centre... probably enjoying life more now than ever before! Love, Jack xox
Tams The Golden Girl Avatar
November 16, 2012 at 7:38 AM
Don't fancy yours for lunch Jack 300 in the nude ooh not for me I'll have a burger. Love it jack as always xx
Ellison Avatar
November 16, 2012 at 7:41 AM
Each to his or her own taste, dear Mandy! LOL Big huggeroonies, Jackles xox
Lamoureux Avatar
November 16, 2012 at 6:49 AM
Thanks for the facts and laughs. Have a great day Jack.
Ellison Avatar
November 16, 2012 at 6:57 AM
That should be it! Think I need to let this concept die a peaceful death! LOL
Palmer Avatar
November 16, 2012 at 5:45 AM
facts with a touch of laughter,amazing,great write Jack,enjoyed
Ellison Avatar
November 16, 2012 at 5:47 AM
Fun stuff eh but I think I've beat the concept to death! LOL Last one... thanks for dropping by my friend!
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